congrats

"you hurt me more"

one of the few things I recall you saying

not because you said a few things

but because I don't remember anything from that year

my brain became a maze

running from the things you said

you took everything from me that year

i never tried to make our trauma a competition

because I know I hurt you too

but sometimes I am filled with so much rage because of you that I don't feel bad

i don't know if you noticed

i struggle with trusting anyone with my thoughts

let alone my body

i wish i could be with someone and give them all of me

yet something is always holding me back

i make silly excuses to make myself feel better

i know i'm lying

resentment is what i have against you

because you can be with another woman and not struggle the way i do

i always do

i haven't made a real connection since you

if we ever had one

i don't know what part was the real you

you told me you're getting married

I never replied

but congrats

i hope she will never go through what i did