Take Care at Daycare

Working at a daycare requires a certain type of crazy. The hyperactive kids, the constant messes, the low pay in comparison to your responsibilities, and that's not even mentioning the entitled and micro-managing parents you need to deal with. But I've been in the game for 10 years now, so all the stress that comes with novelty has worn off, and I can focus on making sure no one bashes their heads open on a desk or bites their friend's finger off. Plus, I have no kids of my own, so when I come home exhausted at the end of the day, I don't have to worry about feeding a family or staying up doing chores.

But lately, I think I might actually be going crazy.

It all started a month ago when the 3.5-4 year old classroom had a new kid enroll. Her name was Erin, and she was the sweetest girl you could ever hope for. She played nicely with others, didn't make a mess with her food, loved to read in the pillow corner, and constantly ask questions to her teachers. I'm a floater teacher, so my day-to-day involvement mostly consists of coverage for call-outs, bathroom breaks, and cleaning up messes, but whenever I entered that classroom, my day would get brighter as Erin ran up to me and squeaked in her little voice. The head teacher, Kiera, well-worn from working as many years as I had but with 2 young children to come home to, always greeted me with a smile as a wave. Her dark braided hair was always in an updo; it was the easiest way to keep it out of her face, and it prevented the other kids from grabbing at her when she got close to them. It was smart and efficient.

But the first week Erin was here, Kiera's calm demeanor broke the second she clocked out for lunch. The kid would not sleep despite both teachers' best efforts. It's not like she was crying or screaming or waking her friends up; on the contrary, she was very respectful of their naptime. She just would. Not. Stop. Asking. Questions. She wanted to know everything about the world, about her classmates, about how things were made, and her curiosity was never satisfied with the short, whispered answers she was given. She'd also play with her blankets and shake her head around, watching her strawberry blond curls bounce wildly, muffling her giggles with her little hands.

This wouldn't be so bad on its own, but that lack of sleep made her cranky all afternoon, and her mom was one of those hands-off types who expected the staff to resolve all her kid's problems so home life would be better. That was what started to break Kiera, and by the end of the week, she was spent.

We had a wild weekend together just letting off steam, forgetting about work worries until Sunday night rolled around and we had the sobering realization that another week of hell awaited us. I could hear the tentative groans over text, and I tried to assure her that Erin was just getting used to daycare. Plenty of kids were apprehensive and took a while to get into the rhythm of routine; I knew from experience. With a couple more supportive messages, I soothed Kiera to sleep, and I knocked out too.

Now, this is when I started to question myself.

Monday comes, and I was tasked with covering a break in the 3.5-4 year old room because Kiera hadn't come back yet. Very unlike her, but I was sure she had a reason. I walked in, seeing a couple children were stirring at my approach while others stayed fully asleep. The assistant teacher thanked me heartily and grabbed her things, closing the door as quietly as she could so as not to wake anyone else.

I sighed and sat against a poster-covered wall, patting one of the stirring kids in the hopes that they would fall back asleep without a fuss, but as my eyes wandered, they fell upon Erin's cot. She was asleep, her body moving up and down softly from under her blanket, which covered her face.

I knew she could do it. It just took a little time and some patience.

The rest of naptime was fairly uneventful, save for a few whisper-yells across the room to "get back on your bed" and "no, you can't read yet". But with 5 minutes left, Kiera hadn't comeback yet, and I was starting to worry about where she'd gone to, frantically pacing the room - quietly, mind you - until I heard the door open and a figure step in. The light was dim from the hallway and windows, so I could only see she had light hair in a high ponytail, shiny eyes and a bright smile. She immediately walked over to the shelves and placed a couple toys on the lower level, a little louder than I would have, but everyone was awake anyway so no harm, no foul. After filling up everyone's water cups, I gave the woman a small nod and left the room, seeing the assistant teacher walking down the hallway and scrunching my face up.

"Any word?"

A shake of their head, followed by a cautious pair of eyes.

I mirrored them, then darted into the bathroom and sent Kiera a quick text.

M: [girl, where r u? staffs gettin worried]

A couple minutes passed before I got a response.

K: [sorry about that! thought i told the front about what was going on]
M: [whats goin on]
K: [i'll tell you after work. but I'm back now don't worry]

I crept out of the bathroom and walked back to the classroom, and sure enough, she was there reading to all the kids, who listened with rapt attention. Even better, Erin wasn't crying. In fact, she looked like a new energy had come to her whole being. It was a wonderful sight; everyone was happier.

Even so, I couldn't pay attention to my tasks the rest of the day because my mind was reeling with possible reasons for Kiera's absence, some mundane and some fantastical. But when I finally gripped her shoulders and begged her to tell me, it all amounted to her taking classes for school and needing all of nap to complete the modules. Her daughters made it difficult to complete them at home.

With that mindset, being called to cover Kiera's break again the next day posed less of an issue, and there were fewer kids present, so more of them slept soundly. As the minute hand moved off the five and towards the six, the woman from yesterday peeked in, letting the glass in the door rattle as it shut behind her. I pushed myself up from the floor with a small grunt, but before I could leave, she asked me to grab the large rainbow cupcakes out of the fridge. It was someone's 4th birthday.

With a small salute, I walked over and leaned down, the light illuminating my face as I slid the plastic container out and wished that I could sneak a treat for myself. I piled both that one and the container right above it into my arms, my eyes darting to the main area to check on the munchkins. There was Kiera, uncovering Erin's face as she giggled. I didn't hear the classroom door open, but maybe I wasn't paying close enough attention. As I distributed one cupcake to each person, we exchanged some small talk, and I answered a few of Erin's many questions. She gave me a tight hug and a smile.

It warmed my heart, but not enough to excuse my slight confusion.

"Hey, did we get a new hire recently?" I asked the assistant teacher as I clocked out at the end of the day. "There's this blond-haired woman who comes in near the end of class 3B's naptime and I haven't seen her in any of the other classrooms, but she seems to know how everything works already."

"Oh, that's Ariana," they said casually, clocking out as I passed them the tablet. "She sometimes comes into the break room to grab snacks or cleaning stuff, but other than that, I haven't seen much of her." She shrugged and gestured for me to follow her, bags of heavy garbage in both of our hands. "I think she's the daughter of someone at corporate. That's why she's not on the staff roster."

"When did she start?"

"Here? Yesterday, but she says she worked at another location before this one."

"Could be that they haven't had time to put her on the roster."

"Maybe, but she's part-time too, so the protocol might be different."

"Is she also a floater? Or does she have a classroom?"

"Floater. I keep seeing her in different rooms during nap."

There was a silence between us as we walked to the dumpster and tossed our bags, waving goodbye to each other before we hopped in our beat-up cars. We didn't make enough to buy new ones.

Everything seemed to make sense at face value, but normally we got informed of new staff members joining the team. Corporate was losing their touch, or at least the front office was. But with everything they had to do during the week, it didn't surprise me that stuff slipped through the cracks.

I started my sputtering automobile and cranked up the radio as I drove away, deep in thought.

The next day was my chance. When I entered room 3B, Ariana was already there, cleaning up the desks, floor, and toys that had been left out from morning play. Erin was sleeping soundly, the rain was pelting down, and the white noise was playing loudly through the speakers. After rocking a kid back into slumber, I picked up the roll of paper towels and cleaned beside Ariana, humming gently.

"Do you like it here?" I asked casually, keeping my voice down. "I heard you started recently."

"Yeah! It's been great. So glad to be up and about," she answered, grinning.

"Up and about? What do you mean?"

A small, unconfident look crossed her face. "At my last job, I did a lot of...desk stuff."

"Oh, it was in administration. Got it," I chuckled in amusement. "I'd be glad to stretch my legs after constant paperwork too." She joined me in laughing, trying to keep it contained.

"Well, call me the welcome committee. Been here for a while, so if you have any questions, just let me know." I thumbed my chest and spritzed a little more spray on the nearest wooden shelf.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it!" she grinned again and walked over to clean some toys.

"So, how many rooms have you been in so far?"

"Oh, uh, all of them, I think. But this one is my favorite."

I look around the room at the sleeping almost-preschoolers and sighed. "They're pretty great."

"They're really friendly and always wanna play." She shoved a jingling wooden instrument into a bin. "But sometimes I wanna do my own thing." She paused. "I mean, what I have to do, you know?"

"Yeah, no. I get it. Corporate has you on the clock, and they'll kill you if you don't finish."

Ariana's eyes widened and became shinier as her lip quivered. "They'll k-kill me?"

Wrong words. Wrong words. I quickly shook my head and held her shoulder. "No, no, not literally! Like figuratively. Like, they'll get on your case and give you a hard time about your job."

"But I don't...I don't w-wanna have a hard time..." she muttered, whimpering.

"You won't, you won't," I chant with more than a little worry, rubbing her shoulder as I tried to comfort her, but nothing seemed to be working. So, I reverted to my go-to: I walked over to the bookcase and grabbed my favorite book to read to the kids, a large fruit with eyes on the front.

"How about you take a small break and read a little? I'll finish cleaning." I assured her with a sympathetic smile. Before I could turn around, however, she had already given me a tight hug that lasted for more than a few seconds, then grabbed the book and sat in the corner, wiping the tears from her face. I rolled my shoulders back with a head shake and dashed around the room, periodically looking over at my coworker to gauge her emotional state. Eventually, I saw her get up and walk between the beds, deciding to duck into the bathroom to wipe down everything since someone had an eye on the children, and when I came out, Kiera had returned, folding Erin's blanket in her arms. She looked more alert than she had in weeks, and her voice was a little clearer too as we chatted briefly about her classes and kids.

"Is Ariana OK, by the way? She had a little meltdown while I was trying to joke with her."

"Oh, yeah, she's fine. She...left while you were in the bathroom. She got called to clean some bird poop off the playground slides." Kiera waved her hand with an exhale. "She's a bit sensitive. Kinda takes everything literally, but she's got the spirit." She leaned down and helped Erin off her cot.

I quietly nodded and started towards the door when in my peripheral I saw the girl's arms wrap around Kiera's neck. Tear tracks stained her rosy cheeks, and her hair was a little messed up, bunched near the top of her head. She looked over at me with her big eyes, rubbing her face on Kiera's shoulder.

I heard no crying from Erin's bed all throughout naptime, and she wasn't even moving. The only thing I caught from the bathroom were a few cots being moved about and the air conditioner running. No door.

It's been like this for a couple weeks now. Every time I enter the classroom, I check Erin's bed, never taking the blanket off but monitoring her movements. No matter how long I stay after naptime is over, I just miss Ariana leaving and Kiera coming in, even if I have my eyes on the room the entire time. I just...blink, and things change. I feel like I'm losing it: my sense of perception, my sanity, even my patience. I'm losing sleep over it, and even my kids are noticing. It doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense.

So tomorrow, I'm going to do it.

I'm going to stare at Erin's cot the entire time so I don't miss anything.

I'll help her out of bed and put away her cot and take care of the entire nap area.

Anything to solve this mystery and put my mind at ease.

Wish me luck, everyone.