Security System

It was early evening and a light drizzle was falling as Dad ran down the steps of the front porch with the last suitcase. He slammed the trunk closed and jumped in the driver's seat, looked around at the family and rubbed his hands together, grinning. "This is it! We're out of here." Mom smiled in return as little baby Jessica sat up in her car seat and rubbed her tiny hands together. "Otter hair!" she exclaimed.
David, Mark and Linda poked at each other, arguing over who sits next to the baby and who gets the rear seat of the minivan.

"The house is a disaster area. I'm afraid they didn't do a very good job of cleaning up," said Dad as he backed the caravan out of the driveway. "I know, I know," answered Mom with a nod. "But guess what? I don't care. We'll worry about putting toys away when we get back. I just hope Pepper behaves herself and goes on the paper like she's been trained. She better not mess my rugs!"
"I'm with you, honey. The place will still be here when we get back." Dad glanced at his watch and added wistfully. "I just wish we could afford more than an overnighter at the shore." Mom placed her hand on Dad's and squeezed gently. "So the money's a little tight right now. You know it doesn't matter to me. Just having two days away with you guys is more than enough." Linda bit Mark on the leg as Jessica smeared her cookie in Davey's hair. Dad thought happily of the weekend ahead and hoped for better weather as the car pulled away from the house and disappeared in the misty rain.

Jimmy "the snake" Delaney watched the car move away then returned his attention to the house. This is gonna be a piece of cake, thought the snake. He'd cased the place for some time and had decided on the back door as his entry point. He'd return later tonight and make a quick and clean job of it. He started his old Chevy and moved slowly away from his stakeout a half block away from his target.
Jimmy wasn't really a bad guy. He'd never hurt a fly. As a matter of fact, he felt a little bad about doin this one. The little kid was a real cutie. But hell, thought the snake, turning philosophical...life's a bitch! They'll learn an important lesson and they've probably got a good insurance plan anyway!
He nodded to himself, confirming his reasoning as he patted the wad of bills still in his pocket from the last job. Three hundred and forty eight - cash! He loved it when they left cash....

Jimmy stood quietly in the shadows of the small back porch, listening. The only sound was the gentle chirping of early morning crickets. The door was easy. He jimmied the single cheap lock and shook his head at the owners' foolishness. He stepped into the kitchen and closed the door quietly, re-locking the knob...easy!

The snake carried a satchel in one hand, ready for the goodies. He raised his small penlight but used it cautiously, stepping lightly to the doorway leading to the dining room. He smiled as he saw the large china closet against the far wall of the room - his first stop, and a good place to keep cash! He took a step through the doorway, placed his right foot on Mark's rough rider skate board and flew across the room at high speed, crashing into the china closet with a loud bang, losing his penlight and falling flat on his back.
"Jesus!" cried Jimmy in a whisper, as Davey's rather oddly shaped ashtray, made in pottery shop last year, flipped off the top shelf of the rocking cabinet and hit Jimmy's forehead with a dull thunk, then bounced to the floor, still in one piece.

The intruder rolled over and stood up, back aching and head throbbing, ready to bolt for the door, but forcing himself to stand still and listen. Be cool, thought Jimmy. Easy. No big problem. He took several deep breaths and waited, willing his eyes to adjust to the darkness so he could find his flash and satchel. Okay, thought Jimmy. You be the snake....cool like ice. Slither. He crouched and moved forward slowly and felt his fallen satchel with his left foot and knelt down, feeling around for his penlight, everything back under control. He eased forward, brushing something soft with his hand. He took hold of it and a child's voice called from the darkness, "Want me to tell you a secret?"

The snake dropped the object and jumped up, cracking his head against the underside of the dining room table and falling back to his knees. He scrambled out from under the table and tripped over his satchel, stumbled forward onto Linda's big wheel, which rat-tat-tatted towards the living room, crashed into the wall and sent Jimmy flying into the corner. He lay there with his head halfway inside Davey's aquarium and saw stars but smelled cedar chips and animal hair, as Davey's hamster jumped up and bit him on the nose. The snake squeeled and scrambled backwards away from the hamster on hands and knees, collapsed on his side and lay still, chest heaving.

Minutes passed with no sound, no movement. Jimmy lay there on the floor, staring at the dining room table in the darkness. He was pretty sure it was a kids' doll he had squeezed. His breathing slowed as he wiped a drop of blood from his nose and sneezed. Jimmy was allergic to animal hair. He swallowed hard. Okay. It's okay. Be cool, thought the snake. Nothin's movin...nobody's comin. Slither and slide. Get the goodies and get your body back out on the street. That's it, thought Jimmy, the hell with the china closet. Let's go for the bedroom and some jewelry - maybe some cash!

He rose painfully to his feet, touching the welt on his nose and the bump on his head as he walked to the stairs and began to climb, regaining confidence with each step. It was dark, but his eyes were adjusting. He would retrieve his penlight and bag after he got his take. He walked down the hall to the front bedroom and eased the door open. Jimmy could make out the bed and a large dresser on the opposite wall.

He stepped into the room and heard his foot land on what sounded like newspaper. He looked down as he took a second step and his heel skidded on something wet and slippery, causing him to sit down hard in something soft. The snake barely had time to react to his latest fall when Pepper the poodle erupted from under the bed, barking hysterically, nipping at his ankles.

Jimmy stuck his hand in a large water bowl and banged into some kind of dog food dispenser as he jumped to his feet and backed towards the door, talking to the dog in a harsh whisper. "Shut up, doggy! Nice doggy, everything's okay, doggy - go lay down doggy!" He scrambled out the door and slammed it shut, cursed himself aloud in frustration and began pounding on the wall.

"Snake, you fool! They ain't even got a dog, you said! A piece of cake, you said! Slither and slide, you said!" Realizing he was now yelling, Jimmy clapped one hand over his mouth and smacked himself in the forehead with the other, sending burning pains shooting through his skull. That does it! Thought Jimmy, adrenaline racing through his system. A quick look through each room, grab anything small, down the steps and out before that damn dog brings the cops!

He moved quickly into Mark's room and began feeling around the bookshelf as his foot brushed the on switch of Mark's giant robot. The toy came to life, flashing red and green lights and sounding a siren as it marched forward. Jimmy spun around, stumbled out of the room backwards and hit the low railing, sailing over to crash down the steps. He lay tangled in a heap at the bottom, now in a full state of panic, hardly registering the swelling in his ankle from the sprain he'd just received.
"You are dead meat!", cried Jimmy as he tried to rise and sharp pains shot from his ankle to his hip. "The cops are comin now for sure! Get up! Get up! The damn dog's still barkin...they gotta be comin!" He rose to his feet, testing the ankle. The hell with this, thought the snake. He knew he couldn't make it to the back door - He had to get out NOW!

Jimmy limped painfully towards the living room to retrieve his penlight and bag. He could see much better now, but not well enough to make out Linda's marbles, which were spread out in a circle near Mom's wrought iron plant stand. He eased his bad foot down on the marbles and immediately began a good imitation of a man running on a treadmill, going nowhere very fast. He swung his arms like propellers on each side, trying to regain his balance, painfully cracking his right knuckles on the plant stand as he crashed to the floor, shouting obscenities.

Jimmy was now beginning to wonder if he would leave this house alive. He got to his hands and knees and crawled slowly into the dining room, feeling around with his hands and miraculously getting hold of his satchel and penlight. He crawled carefully towards the front door, it now being the closest exit from this nightmare.

The snake unlocked the front door and peeked out cautiously as he fought to slow down his breathing. He winced in pain each time he put weight on his foot. The coast was clear. He stepped out quickly and closed the door behind him, limped down the steps and hobbled off around the corner as fast as he could, trying his best to look inconspicuous. He could only hope that no early morning passerby would notice a limping man with blood on his face, blood on his hands and dog crap smeared all over his behind.

Minutes later Jimmy "the snake" Delaney's voice could be heard above the rain along with the sound of him pounding on the hood of his Chevy. "Piece of cake, you said! No dog, you said! Cute kid, you said! Slither, you said."
Jimmy lowered his voice but continued mumbling to himself as he checked his satchel and looked around the car one more time, thinking he had really lost it on this one. Totally lost it! He finally climbed into the car and drove off, considering a visit to a hospital ER, if he could figure out what he was going to say.

It was early Sunday evening when Dad pulled the van into the driveway and the family climbed out. Dad stretched his cramped muscles and yawned. Mom climbed the porch steps carrying Jessica in one arm and a small bag in the other. She opened the door, glad to be home. She tossed her small bag on the sofa and sat the baby in her walker. Dad followed with the two large suitcases. He set them down near the bottom of the stairs and surveyed the disaster area they had left behind them on Friday evening. "Well honey, we knew it would still be here."
"Yeah," answered Mom, as she picked up Davey's ashtray and put it back on the china closet shelf, "But I'd blocked out the major mess we left behind."

Dad called the kids in and got them started on clean up duties as Mom ran upstairs to check on the dog. Dad was trying to scrape two day old spaghetti sauce from a Friday dinner plate which had been left in the kitchen sink when Mom came storming into the kitchen carrying Pepper, who looked like she'd been rolled in mud.
"I knew we should have put her in a kennel!" snapped Mom. She continued past Dad into the washroom and placed the dog in the tub. She turned on both faucets and raised her voice to be heard over the sibling argument taking place in the dining room. "There's dried dog poop smeared all over my bedroom rug! I don't know if it will come out or not." Mom glared at the wet dog. Pepper looked miserable as she stood there awaiting the dreaded water and soap.

Dad finished drying his last plate and looked in at Pepper with contempt, then headed for the next room determined to put a stop to the kids fighting. Linda sat on the floor playing with her little ponies, oblivious to the more or less routine bickering between the boys. Little Jessica rolled herself into the room in her roller-stroller to watch the latest action.
"It's mine!" shouted Davey, whipping his hands behind his back and moving away to avoid repeated grabs by his older brother.
"I saw it first!" countered Mark, identifying himself as the injured party. "You scooped it up as soon as I pointed at it!"
"Did not!" said Davey.

Dad stepped between them and glared at Mark, then turned to Davey, hand outstretched and palm up. Davey looked stubborn for a moment but finally wilted under Dad's steady gaze and handed over his prize. Mom walked in, absently drying her hands on a dishtowel. She saw the captured object and her jaw dropped. Dad had recovered from his initial surprise and now looked at his two sons expectantly.
"Where did you boys find this?"
"Right there on the floor, by the china closet," said Mark, pointing.
"Yeah, but I got it first!" said Davey.

Dad and Mom exchanged confused looks. "Well?" asked Mom as Dad finished counting. "There's three hundred and forty eight dollars here!" said Dad, his voice rising in amazement. Mom stared at the bills and shook her head. "Where in the world...?" she asked, looking at her husband.
Dad just shook his head, wearing a lopsided grin. "The house fairy, maybe?" he said, completing a rapid re-count of the bills.
Mark and Davey watched Mom and Dad and giggled with excitement at the mystery. Linda quietly combed the hair on her favorite blue pony. Davey shot one fist in the air. "Way to go, house fairy!" he exclaimed...
"We furry!" said Jessica, grinning as she waved her tiny hand over her head.