My New Year's Resolution

I’ll make a resolution,
for it is New Year’s Day.
(That’s when we always fool ourselves;
it’s always been this way.)

And this year is no different.
I’ll take my solemn vow.
I will not drink another drop,
no sir, no way, no how.

But that’s what I said last year.
That didn’t last for long.
I quickly changed my mind back then
and I’m still going strong.

So as I sat there thinking
and drinking my cold beer.
I pledged that it would surely be
the last one of the year.

Just then the barkeep passed by,
and I gave him a nod.
I did it automatically.
Believe me, swear to God.

So as I sat there sipping,
I got a great idea.
There really is no way that I
would really give up beer.

I need a resolution
that will not leave me dry.
Some resolution I can keep
without too hard a try.

And so I gave up smoking,
a healthy thing to do.
Those cigarettes are bad for you.
You should avoid them too.

Now you may think I’m cheating.
I’m not a smoker now.
How can I give up something that
I don’t do anyhow?

And so to keep things honest,
and keep my conscience clear,
I looked around and bummed a smoke
from someone who was near.

I didn’t even light up.
Just puffed on it a bit.
Then swore that I would give it up.
That was the end of it.

So this time will be different.
I’ll get to drink my beer.
My resolution will be kept
for the entire year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR