Jack O’Lantern

Words 455


“I’m pleased with the end result. Are you, Jack?”

“It’s okay, but you could have given me a few teeth.”

“I don’t think you realise how hard it is to carve a pumpkin.”

“I guess not but still it would have been nice to have had teeth.”

“What’s with the obsession with teeth, it’s not like your going to need them. Is it?”

“I’d have liked to be able to eat some of the candy that’s in this house.”

“Good luck with getting any of the kids’ candy. They’re greedy little sods.”

“Maybe they need a lesson in sharing?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well, let’s see. Did they appreciate all the hard work it took to carve me, or to decorate the house?”

“No. I told you my kids are pretty selfish.”

“Do they believe that on Hallowe’en the dead come to life?”

“No, of course not. These are, 2022 kids. Nothing scares them. They don’t believe in anything anymore.”

“Mmm. Leave it with me then. But if you could please carve me at least a few teeth, I could do a better job of convincing them that Hallowe’en is real.”

“Oh, alright, just let me find my pumpkin carving knife.”

“You’re back, I thought you’d got lost.”

“Stop complaining and open wide.”

“Have you finished?”

“Yeah. Now you really look evil.”

“Show me in the mirror.”

“Happy now?”

“Cool. I look real creepy. Those kids of yours should be happy they have you for a father.”

“Why, thank you so much. But you’re the only one who really appreciates me.”

“I do appreciate you. Especially now you’ve given me teeth.”

“I’ll pop you on the windowsill so you can see the neighbourhood kids when they come knocking.”

“What treats do you have for them?”

“Just the usual. Chocolate bars and slices of pumpkin pie.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve made pie with my flesh.”

“What else was I supposed to do with all the pumpkin I had left over after carving you?”

“I don’t know, but I feel you could at least asked my permission.”

“Oh, just stop with all the complaining, Jack.”

“Er, I’m sorry. After all, I do have you to thank for my existence, don’t I?”

“That’s better.”

“I’ll help you out with your kids, in return for my handsome face.”

“Whatever you say. I’m busy. See you later.”

“What’s going on? Why are the police here?”

“I’ve lost my six year old.”

“What? That really annoying one who kept blowing out my light?”

“Er, sounds like him. He can be pretty irritating at times.”

“Well, he won’t be annoying you anymore. I told you I’d help, didn’t I? Those teeth were really sharp. Great carving skills you have. Burrrp.”