Odd Bedfellows

It was one hell of a week for preppers Kevin and Kim.
Their stash was overflowing in the bedroom closet,
stacked high with bags of flour and rice.
They slept between the gun safe and the MREs.

The nightmare began almost a week ago
with the arrival of fall's cooler temperatures.
Kim lay down to sleep, but she couldn't –
she felt tiny movements on her arms, legs, and face.

Tiny bugs. One, then another, and another.
They didn't bite – they tickled.
They made REM sleep impossible.
Bedbugs?

Kevin scattered diatomaceous earth (the edible kind)
under the fitted sheet.
That would solve the problem, he thought.

Next night, same problem.
He dusted again, but again, they came back.
No improvement.
Why? How? Were these bugs immune?

Five days in, at 5:30 am, Kim's subconscious mind spoke up.
These are not bed bugs. These are beetles.
She opened the closet door and found a concentrated swarm.
Red flour beetles crawled randomly
in, out, and around a 25 lb. sack of pancake mix.

Kevin grabbed a stainless steel sifter.
He separated the powdery mix
from the beetles and wiggly white larvae.
It was not an exact science, but it was close enough for Kevin.

With the salvaged pancake mix in the freezer
and two new beetle farms in storage,
the couple enjoyed a peaceful night's sleep,
contented that Nature had provided its own protein source,
if only for the fittest.