Memories

What where am I. Everything is dark I can't see a thing and I feel like floating. Not like water, I guess it feels like a cloud looks soft fluffy but with no actual mass. I left the life I knew, a life that made sense. I woke up at a certain time, did set things everyday. There was structure and discipline, I knew my place and I did my job exceptionally well, but here. Here is different my life has ended and I was thrown into chaos.
"Hey you I'm here I don't know what to do! I don't know what to say!" What is right what is wrong. I don't know! So I do nothing and I say nothing and sink more into my own little world.
Oh I hear you laughing at me, but you don't know, you were not there. I don't belong here I no longer belong anywhere it is gone, I am lost in the world that doesn't care. Did they ever.
They cared when you were killing to keep them free but when you are among them, you no longer exist. You are a ghost spending your time in purgatory wondering if you can make it to heaven but knowing you will live in hell till the end, till the bloody end.