A story

A story



Glancing out the window and day dreaming as you watch your thoughts pass you by. Trying to figure out what the day may bring. What should I do today I ask my self wondering and pondering in those thoughts. I try to grasp the bubbles as they go by making sure they don’t escape. One last thought I think to my self one last memory and one last go at this. As I am sitting there playing with my thought wond I realize something out of the ordinary. What is this I ask my self this isn’t suppose to be here. Here comes the big negative thought bubble that has slipped through the cracks in my brain. It starts spreading like a wildfire does on a hot day making it hard for me to take control. No no I tell my self I thought that I had sealed all the cracks as to not let these leak into my world of peace and joy. Oh the terror I tell you how could I let this happen. Soon the oceans and the calm rivers will be filled with hate and spite. Thundering down rain storms and a currant so rough that you cant escape from there grips. Hush hush now I tell my self maybe if we keep calm and pay no mind it will clear up. Sitting there as time goes by still waiting for the clear to come and sweep the hate away I fall into a deep slumber as if not to return. Waking up in a world of misbelief I feel as if I can conqour what has become of my mind. It feels as if I am swept away farther and farther into the darkness not seeing where I am going or where I will be.
Flashing before my once closed eyes now brighten the way as I can not hide. I don’t want to do this I don’t want it done. I try looking for some doors or a way out of this mess but there is non to be found. It is a rough ride with flash back hell I have already suffered this what the hell. It is reliving the motion and repeating its self, the horror the hate my mind used me as bate. I cant do this and why must it be me I have to stay calm please let me be. As dark memories roll in and I try to find a way I cant help but noticed the sign that say stay. Hell no I don’t want to stay I think to my self as my screaming thoughts come out and help. What are you doing and why am I hear I don’t understand is this my fear. It is like I am lost and still asleep traviling in the horror I feel it knee deep. What is happening what have I done I am not sure how it begun. Please take me back and wake me up it is like a terrible nightmare that has once stuck. Breathe in and out I tell my self maybe we should ride it and see its worth. Is this my self esteem or my thoughts eating me as they creep in closer and tear me at the seems. Wait my child I say to my self just watch and listen and hear them out. You are you and you have to go through the motions of the ocean before you can come through. So you are saying if I stay and see I might learn something a lesson or three. I can not help you if you don’t help your self, in order to pull out of this horror you need to relax and find the time to recover form all else done. Remember your dreams aren’t much fun. Don’t hold back and be brave face them head on and don’t be ashamed. I will tell them to leave and never to return bringing me piece and the comfort that I want.
I suddenly wake up and wonder what just happened. Was that real or was it just a dream. Sometimes I am not sure what is real and what isn’t real and it makes things hard for me. Telling my self it will be ok and this brought another day. In all reality you must find you and stay true. We all go through some tradgities in life that can not be undone, and depending on the person it will stick with you for life. I my self have a hard time telling the fake from the real due to the mental health issues that I suffer from. Most days it seems like I am living in a nightmare and other days it will be fine. My short story is based on real life even and the hardship that I deal with on a day to day basis. Most the time it feels like I am living in a nightmare voice here and voices there that seem never to go away. It is hard for me to cope with them most the time as I live in fear when they get loud. Some days are better than others but when it comes down to it I have to hide away and try to ignore them. It hasn’t been much fun and I am still trying to learn what this all means.
My story is short and simple and straight to the point. There is no beating around the bush in the daily life experiences that I go through. Suffering from mental health is hard on me and wares me out. Struggling to focus on what is the most important in life and knowing that things will be ok is hard for me to do. I cant stress enough how important it is to take time to do some self care and take care of your needs. Find time in the day to just breath and relax even if it is for only 10 minutes. These are all the small things that you can do to maintain your sainity. Everyone on the earth suffers from some kind of stress in there life and never has the time to be able to cope with it. Making your work space and or the place that you are at as comfortable as possible helps every little bit of the way. I find that Aroma therapy helps with a low dose of some relaxing music can make a big difference. As my story stems from childhood on up to the present it gives you an idea of what I encounter in life day to day. There are reasons I share my thoughts and feelings about real life events with those around me. I know that I am not the only one that goes through life this way so I choose to share my writings in hope that I can reach out and help someone in need. Not very many people have someone they can count on. Most people who suffer from mental health disorders normally get thrown to the curb by people they thought loved and cared for them. I believe that if we all can be here for each other than we can make a world of difference and help maintain a happy peaceful life.


I enojoy getting topics given to me so that way I may share my exsperinces with people out there.