Local Gnus "articles" are entirely fictional. Any resemblances are entirely coincidental. |
It has been announced that Atanna Buffalo, great chef of the Pince Nez Tribe, will address this year’s annual convention of the world-renowned Culinary And New Native Educational Developers association (CANNED). This unconventional convention is expected to draw a crowd of chefs, culinary experts, people who eat, and gawkers from around the world. It is likely that the crowd will be so large that many persons wishing to hear Chef Buffalo’s address will be obliged to listen through the keyhole in one of the doors. Chef Buffalo will provide insight on tasty new ways to use unkown meats in traditional lowcal recipes. He will also discourse on such topics as “Bringing Home the Bacon From Wild Boars”, “Importance of Ensuring The Bear Is Dead Before Bringing It To the Dining Room”, and “Using Smoke Signals to Summon the Fire Department”. Other guest speakers at this year’s convention will include Chef Itsen Edibul of Litghographia speaking on “World Spices: How To Use All of Them in a Single Dish”; Chef Chuck Upton of Downtown Diner of London speaking on “The Dividing Line: Broil It Or Bin It?”; and Chef Oundmi Aggen of France speaking on “Judicious Use of Various Alcohols Prior To Cooking”. Additionally, The Irish Cooking Contingent will be hosting a workshop, contingent upon sobriety. The workshop is titled “Stout and a Sandwich Will Be It All, Thank You”, and will discuss advantages of primarily liquid diets. |