Devouring Mother.

I’m not tired because of social media
I’m not tired because of work or school
I’m not tired because of hormones
I’m tired of you

You and your restrictions
Your words that bind me to the very ground that you wished for me to get up from
You tell me to flap my wings and fly
But you never took the time to notice the nails and chains you used to put me in place
Every word you say makes them heavier and hurt more than the last time
Every time I try to take off or pull out those restraints
you always add more

You pour salt on the open wounds then add a new one
Every time I try to heal myself you always come back and make sure that those wounds never heal
Leaving me fresh with the pain and agony of your very words that do this to me
Those words that make me forget who I am
Those words that make me into something that I am not
This something that I will never be able to be

You

You want me to be like you
A person who is hated for a truthful tongue
A person who was hated by their own family
A person who wanted to give me a chance to be different
A chance for me to not have those things that happened to you to never happen to me
You have done all of that but you still never realized what you have done to me

You are the reason why I can’t be
Myself
You are the reason why I hate
Myself
You are the reason why I want to kill
Myself
You think that the reason why I am like this is because of
The people I am around
Or
Social media
But the real reason why I am like this is because of

You

Even if I told you all of this
You will use these words against me
Then threaten to put me in a mental hospital
I can’t even tell the people around me about this
Because if I did no one would care
No one would care
I'm just stuck in a loop of never ending pain, suffering, and the silent screams for help
Yet you still don’t care about it

You

The one who started my existence
The one who conceived me
My one and only


MOTHER