Grief and Regret, Love and Hope.

As the rain ragingly pours onto the sulking ground, the thoughts and regrets of our beloved friend and daughter lingers in our heads. Grief and Regret, a natural emotion of the human brain. Yet, we hate such feeling. The feeling of being sorry for oneself, drowning in your own sorrows, crying hopelessly as if maybe-just maybe-it will bring them back into your arms.

I couldn't believe it when I first heard the news, no one did. It was so sudden; it didn't seem even slightly possible for something so horrible and terrifying to happen to someone like you. You didn't deserve death. It shouldn't have happened to you. I didn't know what to feel at the time; I was too confused to process the news given to me. I searched aimlessly on various news websites, looking for a relieving answer for something so dreadful. Frustration was all I could feel. Only the simple news of a "teen girl" shot by a stray bullet was reported; nothing about the girl who was shot; no name, only his age and gender. I was frustrated. Frustrated at the shootout, frustrated by the news reports, frustrated at my friend who told me, frustrated at myself. Then, everything hit me. It was like a bat to the back of the head. Everything me and Apollo did together; The jokes we made, the fun we had, the time we spent with others. I wanted to cry-I did, of course-but I couldn't. I forced myself not to. I didn't want to cry, not now at least. It couldn't've been Apollo. No, it wasn't, I was sure. Yet, I still cried myself to sleep that night. I was sure, wasn't I? Why was I doubting myself so much? The news didn't say who it was, it wasn't his address, so it couldn't've been Apollo.

The next day. I woke up like any other school day. I stayed quiet in the car, staring out into nothing out the window. When I reached the school, I got out of the car and headed straight towards my group of friends.