Marketing

I’ve seen the ads for wonder drugs.
Each one cures ev’ry ill!
“Avoid the need for surgery!
Just take our special pill!”

“It’s so unique it’s patented
and duly licensed too.
It’s just the herbal blend you need,
as though made just for you.”

“Our research proves it really works!
Our scientists are sure.
They’ve found relief for your distress!
(But still can’t find a cure.)

“If things are slow, we’ve got a draught
to gently make you ‘go’!
Our other draught will soothe your gut
and minimize the flow!”

“We have a product for each need
that anyone could have!
For stubborn stains and aches and pains
we have a special salve!”

“Our multi-purpose formula!
There’s nothing it can’t do!
We promise it can unclog drains
and cleanse your colon too!”

“Our newest ointment regrows hair
upon a bowling ball!
Yes sir, the hair it had before,
This stuff regrows it all!”

“This offer’s good for thirty days!
You’ve little time to act!
This deal’s the best you’ll ever find!
We’ve checked and that’s a fact!”

“Of course there might be side-effects,
from mild to quite severe;
an itchy throat or sudden death.
Relax! You’ve nowt to fear.”

“We guarantee you’ll love our stuff!
But if a heart attack
within ten days should make you croak,
we’ll give your money back!”

Shawn C. Bailey
May 2, 2022 22:37:19