Onions

Written for "The Whatever Contest." "The Whatever Contest -- Closed for Now" 

Word Count: 419

Prompt ▼

Prompt: Write 250-750 words of a nonsense story about a day you spent at a garden.

"But they don't!"

"That's what you think."

"They don't," I replied stubbornly. "People grow flowers in a garden. Not onions."

"People grow onions in gardens if they like."

So saying, the plants began to sing, to the tune of 'My Favourite Things' from the move The Sound of Music:

Onions in front yards
and carrots with wings
Turnips in vases
and melons that sing
Lines of potatoes
All neatly in rows
These are the things
that our garden grows!

"Am I Alice? Have I followed a rabbit down to Wonderland?" I muttered.

"No," the plants answered. "You are in your aunt's garden and you followed her here, not a rabbit."

"Where is she, then?"

"Somewhere over the rainbow," came the reply.

"Not another song, please!"

"Why not? Don't you like our singing?"

The plants began to move. They formed a circle around me. I was scared - but they didn't look scary. They were smiling, all the onions, turnips, potatoes, brinjals ... and what not.

"She doesn't like our singing, our singing, our singing ..." they began.

"But we'll sing anyway, anyway, anyway, we're thinking ..."

And with that, they were off, to the tune of 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer".

You may feel some pain dear
Our singing may tingle your toes
And if you find it off-key
You would damp us with the hose!

All of those pretty flowers
Just sit around like lords and dames
But they don't have any fun
They never play any games!

"Okay," I admitted. "A garden full of weird vegetables is more fun than one full of pretty flowers. Now can I go home?"

"Not until you've found a gnome."

"Where am I going to find a gnome?"

"At home, at home."

"I live in an apartment."

"The gnome will be a true gent."

"An apartment down the road."

"Oh, then you must also find a toad."

"There aren't any toads there."

"Ask the hare or the bear. The toad is on the chair."

"Toads don't sit on chairs."

"They sit at the table, if they're able."

Just then, I heard a voice call my name. It was my aunt. As soon as they heard it, the plants subsided. They went back in to their burrows, their furrows, their slots, their pots, their sheds, their beds ...

"Hallo," I said to my aunt, relieved. "I was just ..."

"Meeting my plants. And now you can spell my name PL-AUNT."

"You're just silly!" I said to my aunt.

"The best things are always silly. Thanks for the compliment."