I Am Zira Moonmist

I’d always loved painting. In watercolor, quick paintings, snapshots from a different time. A time gone by or a time yet to come? I knew I’d find out one day, the details of each and every memory from my palette.
Yet, they called me crazy.
“Jane? What’s this you’re painting now?”
The doctor tried to look over my shoulder but I moved to block his vision. These were my memories, not his.
This time, it was a field of flowers. They were a bright blue and seemed glow. A mountain was the back ground as constellations filled the night sky. Romance was in the air.
I didn’t know how I knew; I just did.
“Blue roses? How interesting. And is that the Big Dipper on the left?”
I ignored him and his strange questions. Of course, it wasn’t, it was... Or maybe, I was the strange one. Did I mess up the Big Dipper? How could I when I grew up looking at it every night? With, someone?
My head was starting to hurt. I hated when they watched me paint or asked questions. They always made my head worse.
“I’m sure it’s an easy fix. Is this where you grew up? Maybe we could find it, I’m sure a search could bring up results.”
With a sigh, I set my stuff down and turned so I could see his laptop. Every time he showed a landscape picture, I shook my head and he would flip to the next one.
They didn’t know anything about me and neither did I. They say I was found in some park, wearing strange clothes. When they asked who I was, I didn’t speak English. So, they sent me here where doctors could fix me. Like I needed fixing. I knew who I was, I just couldn’t remember yet.
A bell rang and a nurse led me to the main room for a meal.
This place made me sad for some reason.
Most of these people seemed fine. They could talk, smile, laugh and play games. But we all had hidden things. A couple of people who were on suicide watch, some who couldn’t eat, and others that ate everything. I had met some who were bipolar but violently so. If they were happy, they acted out, if they were sad, they still attacked. A few were like me, too many voices in their heads or nothing at all.
Even though we were all different, one thing grouped us together.
We were lost.
Lost hope, lost memories, lost control, lost love, lost identy.
We were all missing something, something that these doctors couldn’t fix so they stuck us in a box and did their best.
I couldn’t be fixed.
Or maybe, I didn’t need to be fixed. I just needed Gentan Nightbud to find me and then I could go home!
Pain ripped through me, growing stronger and stronger until I screamed and fell to the floor. Someone else was yelling but I quickly passed out.
~
I’d always loved painting. In watercolor, quick paintings, snapshots from a different time. A time gone by or a time yet to come? I knew I’d find out one day, the details of each and every memory from my palette.
Paintings brought me hope. Sunsets I couldn't remember still meant that they sun was there. Flowers glowing at night, flowers covered in dew, stars shining, the moon above, everything was filled with hope. They always made me smile, that’s why my walls were covered with my pictures.
“What’s this picture?”
Doctor Nora, an old friend of mine was visiting. I turned so she could see better.
It was a cave view of the ocean. Clear blue water reached the shore, extending towards the horizon. It was simple, but everything was familiar.
“Is this a place you’ve been Jane?”
I shrugged; I wasn’t sure really; but it felt like I had been there. Maybe as a child or something?
“Not sure, but I do know someone was with me.”
“That’s good, maybe someone is looking for you! I’ll add this to my notes, do you want to see if you recognize any of these pictures.
I clicked through the pictures on her laptop, but nothing clicked right. She left shortly after, letting me paint until it was time for bed.
~
I’d always loved painting. In watercolor, quick paintings, snapshots from a different time. A time gone by or a time yet to come? I knew I’d find out one day, the details of each and every memory from my palette.
I couldn’t get up. It was like my body was drained, so I was left staring at my ceiling.
I had put a recent picture there so I could look at it before bed.
It was of a field of flowers one of the doctors said looked like a Gentian Flower. But these ones glowed and were a bright aqua color. Past the flowers there was a mountain and stars filled the sky.
When I laid down and looked at the picture, it felt like I was there, sitting in the grass and staring at the stars.
It made my heart hurt. I didn’t want to look.
It reminded me of how much I had lost, what was missing from me. People, places and things that I could remember, but at the same time I couldn’t. Sometimes when I thought about this too long, it felt like I couldn’t breathe and I would cry for hours on end. Other times, I felt nothing.
The doctors said I went through mood swings or personality changes. Sometimes I would wake up to paintings ripped and thrown to the floor. Once I even woke up to find I had painted in my sleep. They never know how I will act after sleeping, I think I scare them a little.
I scare me a little.
But mostly, it made me tired.
Tired of fighting for something I don’t remember.
Tired of crying for someone I can’t name.
Tired of losing a part of me every time I sleep.
Yet when night fell, I wouldn’t fight my eyes and I would always sleep and a reset would happen.
I was so tired.
~
“Zira! Oh, my Zira!”
His eyes glowed like the flowers I painted. A bright aqua shining in a dark room.
I wasn’t scared though.
He wiped his tears and moved back, a strange sound coming from his back. He settled on the bed, a wide smile on his face. His hands reached forward and grabbed my own.
It felt right.
“Zira, I’ve been looking all over for you! I can’t believe you’ve been here this whole time. Nutmeg said she looked here and didn’t see you. The spell must have been too thick for her. But nothing could keep me from you.”
I knew him.
I didn’t know this guy!
I wanted him to sit closer.
I wanted the doctors to help me!
I was so excited!
I was so scared!
“I know this all very confusing; the spell is stronger than I thought. But I can help if you want me to. I want take this from you if you want to live as a human.”
His eyes said something else, crying out for me to say yes.
My head was hurting so much, I wanted it all to stop. I must have nodded because he drew closer and kissed me.
Everything went quiet. I closed my eyes, finding peace in the fact that I didn’t have people screaming in my head anymore. When I opened my eyes, everything around me had changed.
“Genton?”
Like the little shocks you get after rubbing your sock covered feet and touching someone, the puzzle finally connected.
I knew who I was and memories spilled into me.
My mother and father smiling at me as I flew for the first time.
My little brother being born and the fight we had to name him. We finally decided with Cosmo Snowdrop.
Genton asking me to see the stars for the first time.
Our first kiss at Clear Water Ridge.
Our first dance.
Our first fight.
Our marriage at Elva Starcove where the flowers glowed at night.
Nutmeg crashing the wedding, casting a spell on me.
Nutmeg joining me at the hospital with a different name.
“Zira?”
I leapt at him this time, kissing deeper than he did before. He wrapped his arms around me and for a moment we were back at Starcove, the Gentien flowers around us as the Oak Newt Mountain stood in the distance.
Eventually we did need to breathe and we pulled about, soaking in each other.
“Genton, oh I’ve missed you so much! What happened, did they find Nutmeg? How did you find me? What about Cosmo? Is everyone-”
He laughed as my heart skipped a beat. I had missed his laugh.
“Everyone is fine, but it’s been three months and Nutmeg disappeared. Why are you so worried about her, we need to find who ever cast this Human Spell on you.
Human Spell. They had changed me while my Fairy side fought back. No wonder if felt like I was splitting.
Nutmeg. Did he not know? It was her that-
“Oh Genton, why couldn’t you just trust me and stay away?”
We turned to the door where doctor Nora stood. This time, silvery wings came from her back, copies of mine and Genton’s.
“Nutmeg? What are you doing here!” He rose from the bed, wings beating at his back. “You told me you had checked for Zira here and that she wasn’t. Why would you lie about your sister like that?”
Her face turned red as she floated like Genton.
“Why? You ask me why! I am the oldest! And yet Mother and Father decided that she was going to be the next Queen! Nutmeg Pearsprite, eldest of the Royal family passed over for some star obsessed little girl! Why do you think I’m mad Genton Nightbud!”
Power began to gather in her hands yet Genton didn’t back down.
“It wasn’t just the King and Queen, the Council decided to pick Zira because she was less focused on Humans and Human threat. You were always going off on how we needed to enslave them to survive. No one else agreed with you Nutmeg, no one ever will.”
The red in her face went away and was replaced with a smirk.
“They will, when a little human kills the next Queen and her husband.” The power faded from her hands and she ran forward with a knife.
Genton moved the fight to the sky, rolling around and wrestling for the blade. I couldn’t do anything but stand and watch, trying to understand everything.
My memories of Nutmeg had always been filled with sunshine. She showed me how to fly, how to dive and not crash at the bottom, how to sneak treats from the kitchen. My childhood was filled with fun because of her.
Until Echo Lightningdash died.
She went around, claiming she saw a human capture and kill him. Humans didn’t even know we existed or how to kill a fairy.
No one believed her and she changed.
I couldn’t blame her, but this was all going too far.
“Meg! Stop this!”
She threw Genton to the floor, panting with the knife pointed at me.
“Meg.” A twisted laugh escaped her and she landed by my bed. “You haven’t called me that in years. Ever since you grew up and decided you were better than me.”
“I never,” Her glare shut me up. “I’m sorry. I should have done more for you and I will. Let’s go home and find Echo. Let’s fix this, together.” I stretched my hand out, praying she took it.
Her fire died and she took several steps back, running into the other wall. Genton was quickly to the air, flittering just in front of me like a shield.
“Zira, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear those words.”
Finally, I couldn’t wait to go home and get this all sorted.
“But as the humans say, too little too late.”
My body reacted before my mind could. Before I knew it, I pushed Genton to the bed, me between him and the knife as Nutmeg dived.
The problem with acting without thinking was usually the consequences. The knife poking through my stomach proved that idea to be right.
“Zira?” I fell to the bed, Genton above me this time. “Zira! Wait one second, I’ll fix this and then, and then...”
We both knew he was useless with healing magic.
“Genton.”
I couldn’t feel my fingers anymore.
“Genton.”
“-I’m sure they can help more than I can, just hang on!”
He tried to move me but my groan made him stop.
“Genton.” This time he looked at me, those wonderful eyes I would never forget again. “I’m okay.”
“Okay!” I’m surprised the nurses didn’t hear his scream. “You have a knife going through you, Nutmeg is gone, and we are nowhere near the Fairy Entrance. Nothing about this is fine!”
I brushed back his hair, it always ended up blocking his vision yet he would never get it cut.
“I’m okay because,” A cough tore through my throat but I had to finish this. “I’m okay because I know you.”
“For the first time in too long, I look at your eyes and know who you are. I look at these paintings and can name the places and when I was there.”
I was so tired.
“I remember my parents, my brother, our people.”
It was so very cold.
“I remember who I am, what I am and who I love. Nothing is better than that."
All I could see where those eyes, those glowing Gentien flowers.
“I know that