a re submission about my visits to my father's gravesite |
As I opened the gates and walked through, I could see you.... even though you weren't there. Your presence has always commanded strong feelings. Still..... you weren't there. I took my usual deep breath and wiped away a single tear that I purposely let roll all the way down my cheek so you could feel my presence as well. As I walked toward your grave, the wind began to blow a slight breeze. It was almost as if you were waving hello to me. I took the short walk, which seemed like miles, until I approached your grave. I stood and looked in silence for a minute as a second tear rolled all the way down my cheek. I sat down in the damp grass right next to where you were resting. Even though I knew it was only a shell of you in there, I still needed to feel that closeness to you. I talked to you, even though I knew you couldn't respond, but as if to feel normal. To feel right. To feel your love and wanting you to feel mine as well. As if to feel normal. I kissed your headstone, got up, and walked away. And like always, I turned around one more time to say......... "I Love You Dad". Until, the next time, the anchor will hold. --Darken Graves |