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A poem about depression (TW: SH, Depression, Cutting) |
DEPRESSED "How are you?" The same answer, the same lie Every fucking time "I'm fine" Feeling frightened for the next line "You sure? You look off" Keep on with the lies Keep on wearing that mask "I'm okay just tired" Faking a smile, a laugh Faking being happy You look at my face Do you think I'm happy? If only you dug beneath the surface You would maybe realize how broken How broken and torn apart I really am How torn apart not only in my soul But on my skin too Cutting and trying to take the pain The pain of my soul away Wearing long sleeves and jeans While you have the chance of wearing shorts and tank tops It's easy to hide in winter but really hard in summer In school, you ask for a sharpener But I refuse owning one, and then you see the one The one in my pencil case, that one That one without the blade, that one blade That one blade, that I use as a key As a key to let free my spirit The spirit that is a slave under the dictatory The dictatory of the society And I'm standing here wondering Why, why didn't I finish everything yesterday Why didn't I cut a little deeper that night Why am I going through with this for one more miserable day Why couldn't I just sleep forever, but I don't say any of this out loud I just think about everything wearing that perfect smiling mask And as if it's a reflex, I'm saying to you "Sorry this one is broken" With the brightest smile I can master, I think to myself "Just like my happiness" I was supposed to be ok I was supposed to be fine I was supposed to not be broken I was supposed to not cut Fuck, I was even supposed to be happy But all this is pure bullshit Because I'm definitely not ok Because I'm definitely not fine Because I'm for sure fucking broken Because I'm for sure cutting secretly in my room Because for shit I'm not happy At least that's how I used to be Until yesterday night, I cut a little bit deeper And at last, I'm finally gone... |