Canine Zombies

December 12, 2021

We never saw it coming. I guess we should have. Election chaos, Covid-19, crazy weather, why not a canine zombie apocalypse?

They think some alien bacteria fell from the sky and started killing all dogs. That is what they think. Or what they SAY started it all. It is called the US Canine Corporeal Revenant – 21 or CCR21. Dog bacteria or even then incorrect term, dog flu, was just not a strong enough name. I am not sure there are any strong enough words.

Of course, the government thought it was just an article from the Onion or National Inquirer that went viral, but videos began cropping up and just not on TMZ. They were everywhere. Horrible mongrels with their heads hung low between their shoulders, their tails never moving and a fortunately a low hoarse growl was never ending. It was the only warning we had.

I never knew until this year that the US has over 70 million dogs and the world is nearing a billion. A billion! But canine is not only a dog, but a wolf, fox, jackal, coyote and who knows what other four slender long-legged, long muzzled, bushy tailed beasts I have left off my list. To me, they are all dogs, and they are our enemy like no other.

The Night of the Living Dead has nothing on these monsters.

They hunt us day and night. And they do not care what it is they kill. If it is breathing, it is hunted down by a pack. It is never just one. Usually, it is three or more. I have seen more than thirty roaming down the street at once. There is no chance if you are alone. They don't lumber along like television zombies. They sprint, they scale fences, and they will sacrifice one of they own to crash through a window of a car. A regular window might as well be a screen.

They are the undead. So how does one kill something that is dead? Is kill even the correct word? The brain is still functioning on some basic level, even though it is more for the sport than for a physical need, such as nutrition. I've never been one to own a gun, but this is a war. I own one now.

We considered poisoning them, but how could we cover a living thing with some compound and send it to its death? We tried dead chicken, actually dead anything. They weren't interested. Somehow, they knew it wasn't alive with a mere sniff as they walked by.

They smell me. I can hear them. I need to move deeper into the building where there is less light. I'll try to write more tomorrow. If I have a tomorrow.