After the call

I've been an advocate to protect your love
now I'm telling you she's so perfect
it hurts me inside when saying that on the video call
like I could just burst into tears right there
I guess I hoped you'll realize that we liked each other
and come back running to me to say it
and I'd act all shy and shocked to see you
but you said this isn't for our age and you never took it serious
I blame myself.
what would've happened if I actually told you about my feelings?
would you have stayed?
or am I doing this to blame the failure on something?
I mean, she's really perfect. I can't argue
but when I couldn't even see you talking to an ugly girl,
why am I pushing you to make a move on the beautiful one?
deep down you know I'm blushing about your naughtiness
that 2 minutes we talk about when our friends are busy
is the reason why I waste talking 3 hours to them.
don't get me wrong. I love my friends.
But I love you more
killing me is not the word I can use for
the pain I have while saying she's a touch of refreshment
is there something more painful than death?
and no, I didn't join that high school because you were there
but when I knew it, I couldn't stop myself wondering if you like me at all
I spent that night listening to ts sad songs
hoping her songs could match my feelings
but I realized no can one express what I feel
so, I wrote one myself.
it's just that if I see or talk to you,
I'll fall for you
So, I should ghost you