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Rated: E · Script/Play · Comedy · #2249327
A little Dr. Seussian wisdom for the pandemic. Assignment for sketch writing class
INT. FOREST - DAY

The LORAX steps up to a podium with the World Health
Organization logo behind him (& on podium?).

                    LORAX
          I'm the Lorax
          With a story for you.
          To help understand
          just what you should do.
          
          Across this great land,
          COVID numbers are rising,
          Because some just refuse
          The guidelines we're advising.

Lorax brings out a giant, oversized and asymmetrical BOOK.

                    LORAX (CONT'D)
          So for those stubborn people
          Who don't have a clue,
          I'm reading the book
          "Horton Hears The W.H.O."
          I'll read you this story.
          That's what I shall do.

Lorax opens the book and begins reading.


EXT. HORTON'S HOUSE - DAY

HORTON is hiding in a dark corner of his house.

                    LORAX (V.O.)
          In the Jungle of Nool
          Is where our story begins.
          Horton sits in a dark corner
          And shakes in his skin.

                    HORTON
          I've learned of a virus
          That's floating about.
          To protect me and my friends
          I just won't go out.
          
          I hope my friends are alright
          And haven't met any doom.
          I wish I could see them
          And get out of this room.
          Plus my WIFI's so bad
          I can't even Zoom.

Horton looks across the room and out his window at a STAR
that twinkles.

                    HORTON (CONT'D)
          I wish I knew how, twinkling star.

With THREE CHIMES the star floats down into the opposite side
of the room and transforms into DR. TEDROS Adhanom, the
Director-General of the World Health Organization.

                    LORAX (V.O.)
          As Horton lamented
          Just what he should do,
          The magic star floated in
          With a word from The WHO.

Dr. Tedros removes his mask from one ear and lets it hang.

                    DR. TEDROS
          Good morning, good afternoon, and
          good evening, Horton!
          
          I'm Dr. Tedros Adhanom
          To help your frustration.
          I'm head of the World
          Health Organization.

                    HORTON
          The Who?

                    DR. TEDROS
          Correct!
          Novel Coronavirus 19 is bad
          And I've heard your concern.
          But you can see your friends!
          With a few rules you must learn.
          
          We have global data
          Showing the virus' gravity.
          And a test where we swab
          Up your long nasal cavity.
               (beat)
          I mean we get waaay up there.

Horton grabs his trunk in response.

                    LORAX (V.O.)
          Horton hoped for
          Something else as protection.
          Like, maybe a vaccine
          He could take by injection?

Dr. Tedros straightens his tie. Horton drops his trunk.

                    DR. TEDROS
          Ahem... not yet.

                    HORTON
               (disappointed)
          Really?

                    DR. TEDROS
          A vaccine that works,
          We should have somewhat quick.
          Because a person's a person,
          No matter how sick.

Horton moves toward Dr. Tedros, but he stops him.

                    DR. TEDROS (CONT'D)
          Don't come any closer, Horton!
          
          Here's the first rule
          That you must embrace,
          Between others and you
          keep six feet of space.
          
          Oh! And wearing a mask
          I also advise,
          To cut down on germs
          That are mobilized.
          It's helpful to those
          Auto immune compromised.

Dr. Tedros pulls out a giant mask out of his breast pocket
and gives it to Horton. Horton struggles, but gets it on.

                    DR. TEDROS (CONT'D)
          Avoid large groups,
          don't touch your face,
          wash your hands.
          Not doing these things
          Will put a kink in your plans.
          
          Some believe this pandemic
          On it's own will abate,
          But a person's a person,
          No matter their state.

With THREE CHIMES, Dr. Tedros puts his mask back on fully as
he turns back into a star and flies out the window.

                    DR. TEDROS (CONT'D)
          And with that, Horton,
          I'm afraid I must leave.
          There's other lands I must visit
          Who are being deceived.
          Completely undermining
          What the WHO has achieved.

SOUR KANGAROO and her YOUNG KANGAROO appear in the window -
both NOT wearing a mask.

                    LORAX (V.O.)
          Sour Kangaroo and Young Kanagaroo
          In the window appeared,
          And gave Horton a look
          That was decidedly weird.

                    SOUR KANGAROO
          What's that ridiculous thing
          You have on your face?
          Are you stirring up fear?
          Oh! What a disgrace!

Sour Kangaroo sneezes.

                    SOUR KANGAROO (CONT'D)
          AAAAHHH-CHOOO!

                    YOUNG KANGAROO
          And ah-choo from me too!
          That's a double ah-choo
          That we've given to you!

                    HORTON
          Please cover your mouths,
          That's the least you could do.
          This is more dangerous
          Than some seasonal flu!

                    LORAX (V.O.)
          Just then, out of nowhere,
          To make things less keen,
          Pete of the Wickersham Brothers
          Monkeyed onto the scene.

PETE WICKERSHAM crowds into the window.

                    PETE
          How's it going, sheeple?
          
          Just got back from a rally
          From Vlad Vlad-i-koff
          Who assured us that soon
          This threat would drop off.

                    HORTON
          Your refusal to think of others
          Is making things worse!
          I have some WHO guidelines
          That will help cases reverse.

                    PETE
          We've got this virus under
          control...

                    SOUR KANGAROO
          Which came from a bat in Solla
          Sollew!

                    PETE
          We have our rights, Horton!
          Don't tell us what to do.

Horton gets more and more upset and frantic as he speaks.

                    HORTON
          Wear a mask, wash your hands,
          Stay six feet apart,
          And avoiding large groups
          Will do for a start.
          
          Now, following the rules
          Will get the virus to quit.
          Because a person's a person...
          You huge pieces of...

Sour Kangaroo gasps loudly and "clutches her pearls" while
Young Kangaroo shirks back into the pouch. Pete Wickersham
just shakes his head.

                    SOUR KANGAROO
          So much for civility! I'm having a
          hot flash!

                    YOUNG KANGAROO
          Do you hop in your mom's pouch with
          that mouth?

                    PETE
               (coughing)
          Dude, we were just having a
          conversation.

                    HORTON
          Sorry for getting
          A little carried away,
          But I worry for friends
          And I hope they're OK.

                    SOUR KANGAROO
          HA-RUMPF!

                    YOUNG KANGAROO
          And ha-rumpf from me too!

                    PETE
          You make me feel sad, Horton
          Since you don't have a clue!

Pete Wickersham and the Kangaroos leave, coughing.

                    LORAX (V.O.)
          The Kangaroos and Pete departed
          Before causing a scene,
          But exhibiting symptoms
          That impose quarantine.
          But that's what they get,
          If you know what I mean.

Horton washes his hands, secures his mask and heads out.

                    HORTON
          With the WHO rules in place,
          I feel very safe.
          I'll keep six feet of space,
          And a mask on my face.
               (beat)
          I think it's rather stylish!
               (beat)
          I'll enjoy the time with my friends
          They're important to me.
          Yes, a person's a person,
          That's so hard to see?


INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

The LORAX is still behind the podium.

                    LORAX
          Thanks to the WHO's guidance
          Horton was no longer at wits ends.
          He could venture outside
          And visit his friends.
          The end.

The Lorax closes the book.

                    LORAX (CONT'D) (CONT'D)
          In conclusion,.. it's not that hard
          or inconvenient, people!
          

BLACKOUT


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