Cupid's Dissatisfied Customer

Cupid's Dissatisfied Customer

"It's a conspiracy!" Cupid said.
He extracted himself from his heart shaped bed.
picked up the alarm clock and threw it across the room,
before he realized his phone was causing his head to boom.

"Cupid, the king of love, speaking."
"Miss, would you please stop your screeching!
"Calm down and stop your bitching.
.Your voice is causing my eyebrow twitching."

"I don't tip my arrows with Love Potion Number Nine,
My arrow heads are of the magical kind,
Each one is blessed by Saint Valentine
And guaranteed to make your chosen beg and whine."

"I know your love interest isn't a dog!"
Lady, it isn't my fault you kissed a frog!
Normal people don't go frogging on Valentine's Day.
They usually go to a bar or watch a Shakespeare play."

"Go ahead a sue me, if you must.
"The only thing you'll get is broken bows and rose rust,
"My wealth is in the love I spread around,
And that is free to anyone in any town."

Poet's Note: ▼

Line Count: 20
Form: Quatrain stanzas with various rhyme schemes.
Prompt: FEBRUARY PROMPT: SLAM CUPID POETRY!
Written for "The Bard's Hall Contest" 
Deadline: February 28, @ 11:59 p.m. WDC time.