I Love Him

It took me a while to figure out
he loved another girl,
my confession was useless and all it did was make the pain stronger

Leaving in nothing but dust in my broken heart
I left places watching him with her wishing I was in her place
Crying to myself silently as I watched him kiss her softly in bed

My life was ruined the moment she came
but crying uselessly didn't work

So I pretended.
Day and night I watched them
and in my head, I was long gone.

Nothing stood in my way in my imagination,
I could do anything.
I could throw her in front of a car as he kissed me
I could imagine having our kids in a beautiful house with the perfect life-

But he didn't care,
though my love was too deep,
I was bullied for it,
I was rejected for it,
and I was killed internally for it,
but after everything, I still love him.