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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Fantasy · #2236110
Rurunes perspective.
I have failed as a mother. I failed my son, and my late husband. I sat on my couch holding a cup of coffee while Masamune talked with the police. My son ran away four months ago. He ran away because of our relationship. Because I brought in a new man.

Yato, my son and I became intimate. It was one of my greatest joys, yet greatest failures. We were both hurting and alone. All I could think of was that I didn't want to lose him too. I needed him. When I saw him watching me pleasure myself, I was confused... Yet happy. My sin was when we crossed the line. I slept with him. I embraced him intimately... My greatest sin.

Even now I yearn for him. I knew that our neighbors, even the government of Japan wouldn't let us be together. He would lose his futurr if people found out. All because of my mistake... But my biggest mistake was not seeing this through his perspective. I thought I could fix things if I brought in another man. If I gave him... and me a second chance at a normal life. But we lost that choice years ago.

I stared at the envelope he left. It was only after I saw the money from his hard wark, his dedication, that my eyes opened. The four months he was gone, he really worked hard, harder than anyone to get this. I realized this too late, how truly dedicated he was, how he truly could have made something work. The image of his face is burned in my mind. I knew when I saw him in the window, Masamune on top of me, that I had irreparably hurt him.

Masamune left with the officers to look for Yato. I stayed on the couch in case he returns. Masamune is a good guy, which is why I hate myself for what I will do... When Yato returns, I will apologize to him. We will leave and start a new life. I have failed him ao many times, but I will see this through. This money, it is proof that he is a man. I should have straightened him out back then before we had sex, but I should have seen this through once I decided to fall with him.

Sitting on this couch I choose now to make a new life with my son, my man.

********

It has been three days since that night. Masamune dropped in last night, but Yato hasn't been found, neither has he returned. I finish cleaning the bathroom and sit down in the living room. All I can do is wait for him to return. Its the least I can do.

A knock on my door broke my chain of thought and I ran quickly to it. I opened the door and saw a police officer there. "Are you ms. Rurune Sado?" I nervously nodded. "Please come with me. We found your son." My heart lept in my chest. As we drove to the station, my mind couldn't focus. I had so much to say. So much to make up for.

We pulled into the lot and i followed the officer in a daze. Masamune joined me, but I couldn't hear him, I just wanted to see Yato. To make things right with him. I barely noticed the doors we passed, but as we walked I saw that the building we entered was strange. As we walkes down the hallway, my mind blanked when we stopped in front of two big doors that said "morgue". My heart stopped. "Why? Why would he be in here?" I thought "This is some mistake."

We walked into the cool room and what, who I saw laying on the table froze my heart. With white skin, blue lips and a deathly pale face was the one whom I loved. I looked. Unable to comprehend this. "We found his body on a river bank. He drowned after he fell in, his neck breaking in the fall..." The coroner droned on but I just stared.

This. This happened because of me. Because I pulled him into a relationship he didnt understand. Because I let us both fall in love. Because I forced him away for selfish reasons... believing I knew what was best. I was on my knees, shaking. I failed. The darkest place in hell is too good for me. I truly am a worthless mother.

Masamune took me home and tried to stay with me, but I refused. "You shouldn't be alone right now. Listen, Im here for you." He tried to comfort me, but right now my heart wemt black.

"I dated you because I wanted Yato to move on" he looked at me "I know Rurune... I unde-" "No you don't. After Yatos father died, we eventually became intimate. Wether because of our sorrow and regret, or loneliness. We crossed a line we never should have." I stared straight ahead, catching sight of a picture of him on the desk. Masamune got quiet, fully digesting what I just said. "I regret making this choice to date you. I... hurt him because of my own selfishness. This happened because of me. Even now... I love him."

I dropped into my chair and leaned against the dining table. Masamune stood there, and finally replied "You slept with him... Your own child... And you decided to date me... Because you wanted him to move on?" I nodded.

Ages seemed to pass. I ended the silence by saying one thing "Just go." Masamune stood there, the walked to the door. He stopped and looked like he was going to say something, but the just walked out. The silence was deafening, but finally hours later I cried. So many regrets flooded my mind. I lost the last family I had. The person I fell in love with. My heart felt like it was dying thousands of deaths. My resolve had come too late. I can only imagine the pain I kept putting him through. All because I wouldn't step up and take reaponsibility. I might as well have abandoned him.

I grabbed his envelope and walked to the train station. I rode the train until the stations closed. I was not far from Kyushu. The night went on as I walked, but I wasnt tired. I couldnt stop. I walked by neighborhoods. I saw the place where he planned on working, the school he wanted to attend. I never really realised how much of this he planned out. How much of the future he figured out for me. He was a man long before I saw him as one.

I aimlessly walked around the countryside, imagining what we would have done together. I didnt eat, sleep or drink. I didnt have the apetite or desire. I laid down in a field, the sun shining down on me. My eyes felt heavy an my throat was cracked and dry. I didnt count the days since I left my house, or wandered here. But finally after an eternity, I felt myself drift off.

********

And woke up in a white room. Or it would be more realistic to call it a space. I looked around confused, the surroundings seemed to stretch on for an eternity. I looked down and saw myself in white clothes. "Where am I?" I thought aloud.

"You are in the netherspace, dead to be precise." I jumped at the voice and turned around. At a small white desk, I saw a young boy, dressed in white with white hair and green eyes.

"You know, I have observed many cases, but yours seems to be the most sad, twisted and tragic of the ones I've come across. I really cant begin to describe how depressing this story and outcome is." As he looked through the papers in front of him, my mind caught up to everything that happened so far.

"Im... dead." I said, hollowly.

"Yup, indeed!" He said nonchalantly. "And you both really didnt have alot going in your favor..."

"Us... both? Was, was Yato here too?" I weakly asked, guilt sorrow and regret crushing my heart.

"He sure was. He was more surprised than you. Actually, he has already began his new life, though time there has flowed differently. I couldnt purge all his memories because the baggage he carried was too much, but he should still have a chance."

My body shook as I processed everything. "Then, am I going to be sent into a new life too?"

"You will. I havnt chosen the place yet because you both caught me off guard with ypur little drama skit, but Im working it out." The mysterious boy replied.

I grew quiet, but after what felt like hours I asked "Then, could you send me to his world too?" I asked

The boy in white put his pen down and looked at me, with eyes that pierced right through mt existence. "I guess I can, but chances are you won't be able to do much. He is already 4 years old and you havent technically been born yet." He analyzed me, reading my face as I listened to him.

"Is there anyway... I can skip being born?" He looked at me expectantly. "I can do that, if that is your request. I only give one freebie out though. I can give you a body that is mature, and highly compatible with magic, you will even have some luck in locating him, but you will have to do this on your own. It wont be an easy life. Will you agree to this?" His look was serious, a faint smirk almost showing on his face.

"Yes." I agreed without hesitation. "Very well then." The boy replied "I will send you right away... Oh and you better hurry. The state he is in right now is not favorable,especially with his current family. I cant intervene in this world so if you want to save him, its all up to you."

I was suddenly flung into a long dark tunnel, but his words echoed loudly in my ears. They burned themselves into my brain. My soul.

Someone dares to hurt my son. My love. I will spend eternity atoning for what I did to him, and I swear I will ruin anyone, everyone who dares to hurt him.

********

Sunlight hit my face as I woke up. I was deep in a forest, the sounds of a river flowing were nearby. I walked to it and when I looked in, I found that my appearance was almost exactly like it was in my world, except for my long ears that jutted out from the sides of my head. Elf. I heard that word from the otakus in my previous life.

I stood up and jumped up and down. I felt decently light on my feet, like my body hardly weighed anything. "That boy said I would have a highly compatible body, and Id be able to track my son." I closed my eyes and tried to focus on his face. My chest grew tight, and tears formes in my eyes. When I opened my eyes again, I felt a strange sense pulling me in a specific direction. I walked, and walked until i reached the end of the forest. I could feel it. The direcion that Yato was. I nees to use this to find him. I have to get strong along the way too so I can protect him. I wont fail him like before...

A fire lit in my eyes as I looked towards the horizon. Im coming...
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