Human Mommy

written for the Bards hall contest, a dog and its owner have a discussion

Human Mommy
By Lisa Noe

I awoke to Chewy, my little Yorkie licking my face. I laughed a big belly laugh as he downed me and smothered me with his kisses.
As I laughed my mouth was parted and the little fellow licked my tongue.

I screamed…. “Oh gross, you licked my tongue!”

My dog began to speak to me…
“Oh, it’s okay, you are my human, my mommy human.”

“I love you Chewy, but you’ve got to be careful and not do that, it is not good, it is gross.”

“I’m sorry human mommy, I won’t do it again.”

“Do you want to go outside today and play in the yard ?” I asked.

“Oh yes human mommy, oh yes please, I love to go outside!”

Chewy sat up on his butt and begged like a little show dog. I pat his head and then kissed his nose and on top of the head,

“You are the smartest little boy I’ve ever seen and I love you so much,
If I had a child I don’t think I’d love it anymore than I love you, my baby.”

“Human mommy I love you more than all the world and sky and universe.”

I grabbed Chewy by the neck and hugged him tightly. We then got out of bed and I fed him his food. He, however, being a spoiled little pup, refused to eat…

“Now Chewy you have to eat your fresh pet chicken, you will get sick if you don’t eat. “
I broke off a piece of the food and hand-fed it to him. At that point, he began to eat it. I stood there feeding him until he ate all of the food that I had put in the bowl.

Chewy had a son with my other dog Lingh Chow, who is a little Shih Tzu.
The little boy is called Shady and he is a Shorkie.

The two love to play with each other and they have many toys.

Shady greets Chewy every morning by kissing him the way dogs do, by licking each other on the nose.

“Good morning Shady, I see you have been playing with human mama’s shoes again. Now you know better than that.”

“I sorry, human mommy. I thought it was my toy.” Shady said.

The two dogs have a whole basket full of dog toys, which they love to play with. As their human, I buy them a toy every time I go to town.

“ I love my human mommy more than you do and she is my mommy first
before you were even born,” Chewy remarked.

Shady has that sweet little baby talk and I adore listening to him.
Chewy is nine months older than his son. That is not much so the
two love to play with one another.

“Chewy, I am going to take you boys to get groomed before we go out and play in the yard.
“Human mommy, I don’t like going to the groomer, I don’t mind getting my hair cut and washed, as a matter of fact, I love having a bath; I just don’t like riding in that old car. “

“Oh I know Chewy, you whine the whole way there and back, believe me, I know you hate the car. I don’t understand why you don’t like it.”

“Shady, what do you think?”

“I am not afraid of riding in a car, I am braver than daddy is.”

Later that day I loaded both of the boys into the car, in the back seat.
I headed for the groomers. While I was driving I heard a commotion in the back seat. It seems the two boys got into a fight and were wrestling all over the back seat.
I had to pull the car over and stop them, I put Chewy in the front with me.

He whined the whole way there. Tina, The groomer, saw them and said… “Oh No not these two, they are a sight to behold, they are rambunctious.”
She loves them, but they are a handful. Later in the day I brought them home and let them play in the yard.

“I’m going to stay out here with you so you don’t get hauled off by a Hawk or Eagle. I can still recall the Hawk that took off with my little kitten,”

“Now you boys stay out of the mud and dirt you just had a bath.”

“Okay human mommy."

I no more than said that when Chewy ran to a big puddle of mud in the yard and Shady followed him. The two started playing in the mud puddle,
They then ran into what they thought was another mud puddle, but it was a sewage line.

“Oh no you two, what have you done?”

“It's okay, human mommy we’re just playing,” said Chewy.

He ran and jumped into my arms, as did Shady at the same time; they began licking me and loving on me. I screamed!

“Oh my Gosh, you two stop! you stink, you’ve been wallowing in the raw sewage!

“That’s okay human mommy I don’t mind the stink.”

“Me either,” said Shady.

I had to take the two inside, one by one, and bathe them again and Shady, who didn't like a bath, jerked loose from me and ran all over the house, shaking water everywhere.

“Shady, You get your butt back here right now! There will be no treat for you if you don’t mind me right now.”

“Okay human, I’m coming, I’m coming… you shouldn’t make me get wet again.”

“You sure didn’t mind getting wet when you were rolling around in the sewage though, did you.”

That night I was laying in bed with Chewy and I was eating a cherry drop of candy and the darn little fuzzball actually downed me and when I laughed, he got my candy right from my mouth.

“I love you my little Chewy boy.”

“I love you too human mommy.”


Word Count: 996