entry 2

entry 2
My friends oooo my friends are not normal to say the least. I'm not gonna say they were/are mean but their not all the way nice. like you know how you got that group of people you can talk about anything with, that are alwaythere for you and they dont judge no matter how stupid it is but when it comes to people they dont like they dont hide it but they dont partically care about them what so ever yeah that was them. They stood by my side in school. We hung out a little outside of school but we mostly seen each other in school.
I used school as a distractions from everything else. I actually enjoyed going to school unlike my sisters they always thought it was weird that i liked going to school, i liked my firends. We talked, We laughed, We cried, and most of all we was us. Nobody could tell us otherwise. We didnt care who heard our conversation, who decided to include their selves in our conversations we welcomed it even though the topics we talked about was not always appropiate. I loved it i didnt get forced to do or say anything, i wasnt pressured to do or say anything, and i didnt have to change who i am to be included or just to be around them. I loved the feeling of being my weird, loud but quiet, different and accepted and not judge for what i look like. For example, in the middle of winter i didnt wear pants i wore a skurt.(i probly ddint spell it right. i have spelling issues) no i didnt wear leggings or tights with them why? i cant tell you i was comfy and strangly my legs werent cold. I stayed after school alot due to the fact that my school decided to you know up and put me in advanced classes like i asked for it. Also decided apon themselves to choose my electives for me. I had fun with what they put me in and i learned something but i still would have liked to choice.
sorry got distracted back to the topic school was a fun place for me to go and be myslelf. I'd come home i wouldnt really do my homework because i did it after school but then also took naps in my classes that were boring or if i was sleepy or if i finished my work early. i had some of the best days in school but also was invisible for 2 years in high school. can you guess the years i was invisible? it was my 10th and 11th grade years yeah. within those 2 years is when my shadows was getting darkers because my insecurities really kicked in and things werent helping factors that i really arnt trying to get into. my thoughts wondered, my feelings wondered and everything else followed suit.
I stumbled but i got back up. my thoughts and feelings were everywhere but i got them together partally and i feel proud of myslef for how i did for myself.
thanks for reading
ghost