No Claws for Alarm

Jyn sighed, wiping sweat off his brow as his scope glinted at the edge of his sight, reflecting the bright sun of the Mojave Wasteland into his peripheral vision. The sand and crusted clay crunched with every step he took, adding to the faint thumps that echoed through the ground as Carlos trotted beside him.
“Where are we going?” The young Deathclaw asked, licking his nose with long, reptilian tongue.
Jyn stared off into the distance, relieved to see the ruins of Boulder City on the horizon. He hoped there’d be work there, as neither Goodsprings or Primm had any jobs he could take up.
“Boulder City, I guess. Maybe they’ll have something for us to do,” He replied.
“Oh, yay!” Carlos exclaimed. “Then, when we’re done, can we go hunt for Geckos?”
Carlos’s favorite foods were always Gecko-related. Gecko Steaks, Gecko Kebabs, even just raw Gecko was enough to sate the hunger of Jyn’s “experiment”. Jyn thought it was either a primal preference, or Carlos just really liked Geckos.
“Sure, if that’s what you want.” Jyn answered, a small smile creasing at the end of his mouth.
“YAAAAAY!” The Deathclaw cheered, galloping a circle around Jyn.
Jyn just rolled his eyes as they entered the town of Boulder City, with a little Deathclaw running in circles cheering about Geckos.

The Bighorn Saloon usually had a fair share of bounties posted on the inside, but weirdly enough, only one remained on the bounty board. What concerned him is that it was an adult male Deathclaw.
Only once had he ever taken a job related to Deathclaws, and that was how he’d ended up with Carlos ro take care of.
Though in reality, being forced by the NCR to carry out their dirty work didn’t really count as a “job”. More an...errand, perhaps. The story went that Jyn had been ordered to dispose of Mr. Robert Edwin House so that the NCR would hold jurisdiction over the city of New Vegas. To the NCR’s disappointment, Jyn was a close associate of House and refused to do it, resulting in House letting the New California Republic off with a warning.
So to punish Jyn, an NCR citizen, he was ordered to clear out the Deathclaw-infested Quarry north of Sloan in order for the NCR to put people back into work.
In doing so, Jyn had met a group of interdimensional travellers (whom he’d helped) and found a viable Deathclaw egg, hatching (an adorable((!))) baby Carlos.
As one thing led to another, they ended up here.
“What’s it say?” Carlos chirupped suddenly, instantly snapping Jyn’s attention back to the present.
“What’s what say?”
“The paper?”
Jyn bit his lip. “Oh. It’s uh...ten thousand bottlecap reward for the death of a local Deathclaw known for...oh, yuck.”
Carlos shivered, his alligator-looking tail bumping into a chair as he trembled. “That’s gross. Why would he um...eat them up like that?”
“I don’t know.” Jyn sighed, scratching the soft scales between Carlos’s horns.
“Maybe he’s just not as sweet as you are.” He finally said with a grin, something which Carlos emulated.
Jyn ignored the stares he gained from some of the saloon’s patrons for bringing in a Deathclaw, a talking one, no less. The stares gave him renown. They built up the reputation he had to uphold, and it’d only give him more positive and less negative positions to be in.
“What do you say about going and killing us this big meathead?” Jyn proposed.
Carlos wagged his tail, eyes gleaming. “And then go Gecko hunting?”
“Of course!”
“Then YES YES YES, AND MORE YES!” Carlos roared, hopping up and down. Some of the cups that were stacked at the bar looked ready to fall over at this point…
“Then let’s leave!” Jyn yelped quickly, booting the mutated Chameleon out the door as several of the saloon customers began to glare at him for his frightening noises.


“Last known location: Three miles west of Hoover Dam. Oh man, that’s not far…”Jyn muttered, watching humorously as Carlos he stalked a small Nevada Agave plant as if it were prey.
“Eyahh…” Spectre yawned, his bootup chime echoing in Jyn’s head. “What’s poppin’, boss?”
Jyn winced, holding back a smile. Took you long enough. Since when does a highly sophisticated House AI program need a debug period?
“Since technology stopped headin’ forward ‘bout two hundred years ago.” The digital mobster replied bluntly. “But enough about how I’m doin’. What’s up with the kid?”
Carlos?
What about Carlos? He was busy gnawing on the Agave fruit he’d slain as he rested in the shade of a large sandstone boulder.
"I took a gander at the quest log. Is he alright with this? I mean, they are the same species n’ all-”
So are humans, but that’s…
He was about to point out that it had never stopped him before, but if he’d finished, he’d be lying. Killing humans was always last on his list. If he was able to distract or lead away human enemies from whatever needed retrieving or delivering, he’d almost always take that plan direction. His rifle was just a precaution, for Ferals, Deathclaws, and Radscorpions, stuff like that. Never for killing another person.
A person who could have a family they’re doing their terrible job for.
A person who could be down on their luck and really needed a job.
A person with hopes, dreams, aspirations and memories.
A living, thinking thing. Something far more complex than a robot or AI program.
"Uh...you were saying?"
I’m just saying it’s the same as any other bounty hunter. Most bounty hunters kill the same member of their species out of need for currency and their own general apathy. I’m above it, so that’s why-
"Why we always has to figger out a way to get da drop on a gang leader instead of poppin’ his brains out like the ugly little pimple they is?"
Precisely.
"Ugh, you better not start rubbin’ off on me…"
Jyn rolled his eyes, marching over to Carlos’s resting boulder.
“Oh. Hi!” Carlos mumbled in greeting, licking the sweet agave juices from his muzzle.
Jyn crouched beside him. “Hey little guy. Ready?”
“To hunt a big bad mean guy? Of course I am!” The little Deathclaw replied with enthusiasm.
Jyn was grateful to have the small beast on his side. From what he’d tested Carlos on, he knew that Deathclaws had a range of seven-to-ten in Perception levels if checked on a Vito-Matic vigor tester. Carlos, being the ripe and tender age of three and seven months, had an astounding Perception level of eight, which made him relatively helpful for maintaining stealth. The higher the perception, the more aware the individual is of the world around them.
Jyn was a perceptive individual himself, but only had a mild rating of six. This meant out of everyone in their party (including Spectre), Carlos alone had the best situational awareness.
“Wonderful. Let’s head.”
Their trek began as soon as they left the limits of Boulder City, following the ancient roads to their first landmark. Hoover Dam.
As far as Jyn was concerned, it was the largest government facility in the western half of America. Or what was left of it.
Well, besides maybe Hopeville and it’s missile silos, of course…
The NCR and Caesar’s Legion continued to scrap and skirmish it’s control, leaving many people to choose sides or take shelter for the coming storm.
Jyn recalled a seer he’d met under the 188 Trading Post, a young boy. He couldn’t recall the kid’s name, but he was sure he’d never forget the “thoughts” the boy had seen.
Hoover Dam wreathed in smoke, blackened in the shadow of the Bull and the Bear fighting over it. And himself in the center of it, the deciding factor.
It scared him, to think he was putting the lives of hundreds in his hands as he worked for the NCR.
The road veered off toward Hoover Dam and the NCR barricade protecting it with Rangers, but their destination was further ahead. Off to the side of the main road, was a narrow, rocky ledge, looking off over the Colorado River.
Please tell me that’s not our route.
“Well, if you say so. Dat’s not our road.”
Carlos galloped ahead, sniffing the air and straining his ears.
The young Deathclaw’s tail stiffened. “I smell him!”
Liar.
“I was only followin’ orders, boss.”
Jyn saluted the Rangers, receiving a salute in return before he followed an over-eager Carlos along the sheer face, trying to ignore the uncertainty he was getting.
He didn’t fear the height, of course.
It was the fall that got him.
Wind and dust blew along the side of the rockway, with most of the trail covered in sand, making his steps clumsy and erroneous. Every so often he’d look down in fascination, watching wisps of sediment wash off the side of the trail, catching the wind and vanishing.
It was scary, but beautiful in some ways. An Eagle circled overhead as they entered a natural tunnel in the cliff face, the opening opposite to the winds.
“Woah! It’s really nice in here!” Carlos remarked.
“Uh...s-sure.” Jyn stammered, fumbling for a jar of Cateye in his pack and praying that their bounty wasn’t in the tunnel with them.
Finally finding the chems, he twisted the cap off and downed the pills, sighing in relief as his vison adapted perfectly to the darkness.
The tunnel had opened into a room filled with stalactites and stalagmites that had connected together, forming natural pillars that prevented the room from collapsing over time.
Small amounts of glowing mushrooms had grown along the walls, not to mention brain fungus and Orange Bloodroot.
Jyn stopped, trying to concentrate on breathing and forget the worries of impending attacks by a voracious Deathclaw.
“Boss, if you want, I can uh, remotely give ya a few hits of Mentats-”
I’ll be fine, Spectre. Just secure the room, use some thermals and sonars.
“You da boss.”
He leaned against the wall and wiped a line of sweat from his brow, watching as Carlos poked a patch of glowing mushrooms.
His breathing slowed, his heartbeat returning to normal.
“Nothin’ to report boss, ‘cept that we’re definitely on the meathead’s trail. Found a couple tracks, and uh...some remains.”
The thought of human remains alone almost made vomit. “G-good, I guess. Tha-anks.”
“No prob.”
Jyn signalled to Carlos, venturing further into the cave.
“S-so, Spectre,” He asked aloud. “What route do we take?”
“Well ya-WAIT, HOLD YA FUCKIN DONKEYS!”
Jyn yelped in surprise as his feet slid out from under him, it finally becoming apparent that he’d stepped in a hole.
“WAHOO!” Carlos yelled in delight, jumping in after him.
He scrabbled his gloves along the walls as he slid through a stone slide through the floor, yelling out before his head impacted the ceiling and the world dissipated before him.


“Gah!” Jyn yelped, wringing his hand in annoyance.
The RobCo securitron sparked with electricity, the gaps in the wiring clear from the glint of bare copper.
Jyn had found a lucky stake: A downed RobCo securitron outside old Poseidon Energy Station!
The Microfusion cells inside were brand new, clearly made by the mysterious Mr. House above New Vegas.
Of course, the only trouble now was the open circuits.
As Jyn pried apart the machine, the wiring almost seemed to...drift toward him, stopping from advancing any further.
Frustrated, he finally stabbed the microfusion couplet with the Phillips head, gasping as a flash of electricity arced and hit…
...the screen of his Pip-Boy.
“No, no, tha-at’s b-bad!” He moaned, dropping the screwdriver to check on his computer.
He pressed in the bootup sequence, biting his lip nervously as the startup tune played.
Except this time...there wasn’t the infamous Vault Boy. In his place stood a man with a mischievous grin, his fedora hiding his eyes. A long, billowing trenchcoat protected his legs, which were garbed in a pair of gray-dyed jeans. Finally, his feet were covered in a set over sleek black dress shoes, shined to perfection.
“Who-o are you?” He asked, not really expecting an answer.
The figure laughed, startling Jyn. “Ehehehe...let’s get down to uh, business, shall we?”



Jyn groggily stirred, already feeling the welt at the back of his head before he opened his eyes. He found himself belly-down on the ground, but when he tried to reach up and rub his head…
...he couldn’t. In shock, he rolled his shoulders and found that he was bound by thick ropes.
Oh dear,
“Relax boss. I called a...friend. Heheh…” Spectre chuckled mentally.
Jyn didn’t respond, his eyes darting around to view the environment.
Sunlight shone into the large stone antichamber through a large crack in the ceiling, which had a pre-war plane wrecked through the center of it. The ancient fighter had its nose pointed toward the ground, and looked as if it could still fly if it weren’t shackled to the earth.
There was a small fire in a corner, and in a small enclosed space behind it was-
“Carlos!” Jyn hissed in relief, before realizing why the Deathclaw hadn’t helped him yet.
Oh no.
Carlos was terrified of fire.
It was the bane of the scaly child’s existence. Guns he was able to handle, but fire was enough to scare him into Jyn’s arms.
Jyn felt rotten for being unable to help him, eyes darting around for something to help him escape.
Who tied me up?
“Ya can’t handle the truth.”
What’s that supposed to mean?
On the other end of the room, bound and gagged, was a young man in an NCR trooper uniform, bound by rope just as he was, except gagged.
It couldn’t be the Deathclaw doing this, could it?
Spectre said nothing.
Jyn exhaled sharply, arms sagging against the ropes.
Suddenly, the sound of claws clacking against stone pierced his hearing. Sure enough, a massive Deathclaw stomped in behind Jyn, giving him a distasteful sniff as Jyn stared at him.
The Deathclaw walked past him; past Carlos; and around the nose of the plane, for it was too near the ground for him to pass under on two legs.
The NCR trooper began to whimper and squirm against his bonds as the Deathclaw got closer, before the colossus wrapped a set of three-foot claws around him. The trooper went silent in fear, his eyes wide as he shuddered and trembled in the Deathclaw’s unbreakable grasp.
The Deathclaw snapped the ropes with a claw, before raising the trooper above his mouth-
Jyn looked away, horrified as he heard a very audible *Gulp!*
The trooper began to scream, muffled through the gag as he was slowly eaten alive.
Spectre, you realize you’re going to end up in a pile of Deathclaw shit if you don’t get us out of here, don’t you?
“Relaaaax, I’m workin’ on it!”
Quickly enough, a pebbled tumbled through the cracked ceiling, bopping Jyn on the head.
“Wh-Oh…”
Peeking through the ceiling was a grinning, fanged maw with two ice-blue eyes.
You called Lena?!
“She was excited to fight a Deathclaw, wha’s wrong wit’ dat boss?”
Nothing. I just thought she’d be a bit...wary. After all, she lost her rattle that way.
A couple months ago, Jyn, Carlos, and Lena the Nightstalker ventured into Dead Wind Cavern.
They’d remained undetected...barely. They had thankfully made it far enough for Jyn to find an automatic 20mm grenade launcher beside a fallen Brotherhood of Steel paladin. Carlos had been knocked unconscious, and Lena almost bled out from having her large tail rattle severed.
It was a rough time for all parties involved.
Lena silently wriggled through the crack, dropping to the ground quietly enough for the Deathclaw not to notice as he began to swallow the remaining half of the poor unlucky trooper.
Jyn grinned at the Rattlesnake-Coyote mutant, before she licked his face in greeting and started gnawing her blade-like fangs against his rope.
During this, Jyn silently began to pray that she didn’t accidentally bite him and paralyze him for several hours with her venom.
Not much later, the ropes came undone, and Jyn pressed his hands to the ground.
Plan?
“Nah, no plan. Give em’ hell, boss.”
Jyn laughed, watching as the Deathclaw spun around to face him.
Already knowing his preferred way to fight, Jyn smirked as he activated a Stealth Boy, watching as he faded into the air. The Deathclaw finished the trooper’s feet with a loud “GLURK!” before roaring in Jyn’s direction, Carlos whimpering as he hugged the wall closer.
Suddenly, a small, circular object rolled into the flames, before ice particles exploded outward, forcing the fire out of existence.
Jyn snorted happily in the shadows, watching as the cryo grenade worked. He was particually happy about that, since it was only a prototype model he’d created. Seemed like the perfect field test.
Carlos let out a shrill and pathetic roar, since he wasn’t quite old enough. Jyn smiled. It wasn’t his fault he was so cute.
Grabbing his rifle and Plasma Defender off the wall where they’d been propped, Jyn loaded a AP clip in as the Deathclaw charged, seeing the rifle and plasma handgun disappear, therefore deducing where Jyn was. He sliced at open air, Jyn having shoulder-rolled between the giant mutant chameleon’s legs to end up behind him.
The ‘claw swiveled his head, batting Jyn across the floor with his tail.
“Guh!” He wheezed, sitting up as Lena encompassed the Deathclaw’s tail with her jaws.
The Deathclaw tried slashing at the Nightstalker, but was unable to reach. As he was distracted with Lena, Carlos barreled forward and rammed his head into the Deathclaw’s lungs, winding him.
Stumbling, the Deathclaw hit the ground, landing on all fours.
Jyn pulled the rifle scope up to his face, the Deathclaw’s left foreleg being shattered by an Armor Piercing .308 round.
“Ay boss, remember the Quarry?”
What about it?
“Watch dis flick shot.”
The jet fighter roared to life above them.
Carlos squealed, hiding behind a happy Lena.
The Deathclaw continued to crawl forward, his wretched black forked tongue flicking out, as if he could already taste Jyn’s flesh.
The fighter increased in sound, before rocks began to crumble. Suddenly the crack above them widened, the jet fighter being allowed one last flight…
...before the Deathclaw’s spine was shattered.


The caps in his pocket clinked together cheerfully as he led the way toward the Goodsprings Source, a popular Gecko location.
Lena had decided to walk back home and wait for them, but Jyn and Carlos were Gecko hunting.
When the two arrived, the trough was surrounded by about seven Golden Geckos.
Jyn shivered. It had to be the most dangerous kind?
No matter.
He drew the Plasma Defender as Carlos gleefully charged.
Spectre?
“E’yeah boss?”
A little VATS in here?
“Hehehehe….cheater.”
The Pip-Boy took over his vision as the Vault-tec Assisted Targeting System booted up, instantly highlighting the seven Geckos. All odds were in his favor; as every limb was listed at a 95% chance of being hit.
Target the heads. Only five of them though, this is Carlos’s treat after all.
Quicker than a blink, Jyn fired five bolts of molten plasma. All his rounds impacted, two of the geckos being reduced to useless puddles of goo.
He smirked, holstering the plasma weapon and watching as Carlos wrestled with the one remaining Gecko (He’d already killed the other one).
The mutated Golden Gecko latched it’s teeth into Carlos’s shoulder, the Deathclaw growling before jabbing his razor-sharp namesakes into the Gecko’s fleshy ribs.
In pain, the gecko spasmed until his muscles went decidedly limp. Carlos nodded, satisfied before he grabbed the gecko’s neck in his jaws and trotted over to Jyn on all fours.
“Is that what’s for dinner?” Jyn asked.
“Mmm-hmm!” Carlos said, nodding.