The Forbidden Holiday

         

Lombardo          4

The Forbidden Holiday

         by Alyssa Lombardo

         I was considered an outcast, both within and outside the frame of the photo. (Since I cannot upload a photo, the picture is my sister and me in costumes)
         There were reasons why I fell under the category of an "outcast." I was never the girl to feel awe at shopping or makeup. As a child, I never played with dolls either. I adored video games as a boy would, my interests reflecting a tomboy and nerdy essence.Yet, that is not what makes me an outcast for this piece of writing.
         I am an outcast for not celebrating Halloween. Since I was just a child in elementary, friends wondered why I never went trick-or-treating or wore a costume.
         The answer I gave them was simple. It was all because of my parents.
         I was influenced by my parents, who looked upon Halloween with such disappointment. It was a pointless event, and they couldn't help but wonder why it earned the title of "holiday." The components of fear Halloween had to offer were ones to especially by despised. Halloween, in my father's eyes, was practically an event from the devil himself. Taking candy from strangers was dangerous, nonetheless, going door to door collecting sweets from other people that may or may not be trusted. Skeletons and graves were scattered around the houses of these neighbors as decorations. My father would scoff at the message being conveyed, that death was being honored and frightening others was a sin.
         I never bothered to question their beliefs when I was young. When I entered my teenage years and matured, I formed a point of view of my own. However, it secretly defied the viewpoints of my parents. I found myself in the shoes of my peers, wanting to celebrate Halloween as they do. I yearned for such experiences, to stroll down the streets of Greenwood Street and obtain candy from each house.
         My viewpoint didn't matter. The cruel world offered terrible activities that may or may not ruin my reputation as a human being, as a student, and as a daughter. The world and its people could not be trusted, and because of that, I lacked experiences in which the average person would have. My parents would point out to me that I was just a child living in a world that was temporary, and my actions in this world would lead to where I end up in the future. I couldn't feel the same emotions as adults did, or in my household, I could hardly have an opinion of my own. Hearing my parents say those words to me may sound like a discouragement, but really, it was my motivation. My opinions on Halloween weren't the only ones to cross path with my parents, but eventually, my beliefs on the world today(such as religion, and sexual orientation) Ultimately, I was the wrong one.
         One night, when I was a sophomore, I was invited to a friend's Halloween party. It was hard to find the courage to ask my parents. I knew their answer would be "no." I had this need, a sense of urgency. I absolutely needed to go to this party, not for popularity, but to have the experiences of celebrating Halloween. Also, I needed to rebel against my parents' beliefs, and the party was the only way to do it.
         They said yes, perhaps- because I had a boring life.
         I was typically the antisocial teenager, and to this day I still am. The weekends are a time I enjoy myself, particularly by playing video games, drawing, and writing as I am doing now. I was isolated, even from my friends who stood by me.
         Even if my parents hated the holiday, they didn't want me to be "locked in jail'' all Friday night. I was grateful, yet vexed with their reasoning. I had to restrain myself from bickering because I finally got what I wanted and saying one word would change their minds.
         On the night of the party, I was wearing an Attack on Titan cosplay outfit. The costume contained a hooded green cape with a crest on the back which represented a member of the Scout Regiment(the military in the show.) I wore a brown jacket underneath it, having the same crest as the cape did.
         My sister accompanied me to the party. This was also her first Halloween moment but she did not own a costume. My friend lent her one for the night, a Stitch onesie. There was no trick-or-treating, just music, candy, and friends. I got to be the person who did not have to conceal her thoughts. I was social and I opened up to my friends. They listened distinctively to me and supported my beliefs. They started to seem more like my family than my actual family.
         A year later, I found myself in the same situation as the year before. I was invited to another Halloween party by the same friend, and the outcome was the very same; I waited until the very last minute to ask my parents, and their answer was the same as last year. I had the same costume and rivaling viewpoints from my parents.
         Halloween made me come to a realization about my life. My parents may supply the food that goes in my stomach and the roof that is over my head. Although, they would not supply my ideas and thoughts. My opinions would probably be ones that would always oppose my parents, and in the future, my feelings will most likely result in chaos. My point of view, that inner me I have to hide every day was presentable on those two nights; where I finally got to celebrate Halloween. For once, I could have been the real me, even if I was wearing a costume. The day may never come though, where the real me will be revealed to my family.