He Said / She Said

"How many times do I have to tell you that punctuation matters?
We have to know when a sentence ends!" she ranted periodically.



"My Cujo could eat your purebred dust mop in one bite," he muttered savagely.



"Lets open all the curtains!" she suggested brightly.



"You gotta re-lace you bike wheel," he spoke brokenly.



But I have to keep drinking, I'm an alcoholic," she whined endlessly.



"I can't believe you pass this stuff off as cocaine," he snorted skeptically.



You'll never solve the secret of my chastity belt," she smiled inscrutably.



"I'll help you finish that sandwich ma'am," he offered heroically.



"I'm so hungry I could eat a worm," she said peckishly.



"Whoa there, easy girl, it's just a cold," he whispered hoarsely.



"I want a trial separation!" she snipped dismissively.



"Drink up, ye scurvy dogs!" he slurred groggily.



"You never bring me flowers," she sighed lackadaisically.



"No, I haven't put my affairs in order," he admitted unwillingly.



"Go ahead, try my hollandaise," she suggested saucily.



"I had to replace that damaged headstone," he remarked gravely.



"You're all invited to my piano recital," she announced grandly.



"Who cares if I forgot the milk," he sighed listlessly.



"Can two specialists disagree, yet both be correct?" she wondered paradoxically.



"You're suing me? Well, two can play that game!" he retorted.



"Let's turn the mattress," she suggested flippantly.



"I'm inclined to relax and take it easy," drawled the lazy boy.



"What will we do when the baby comes?" she asked expectantly.



"Glad ye're back on board Cap'n," beamed Scotty cheerfully.



"I really don't want a cat!" she insisted doggedly.