I am not fine losing him

         Imagine, listening to each other's deep breaths - beating and synchronizing. His own smell teases my nostrils and I scrunch my nose up to breathe in more of its calming effect. I am totally contented with this moment. He's there and no problems seem to ruin it. The only thing that matter are his fingers running along my hair. I don't want to ruin the moment so I always keep my mouth shut and allow my thoughts to remain in my head. I want to say something, a simple thank you or a soft I love you but I couldn't. The moment is fragile and it will be instilled in my mind forever. He's my first love, he's my everything.

But loving him didn't save us. It couldn't stop him from getting tired of me and from falling out of love. I know it feels like you could sacrifice everything in the world just to not lose that moment, to not lose him. But you just can't. you have a life and your life must go on. So, I stayed put despite the inner turmoil in me and waited. Waiting for a miracle to remove the pain that I am suffering from.

Love, BrokeSicko