Slut

When I was younger
I searched for love and acceptance
By having sex with many different people.

It didn’t start out that way.
My previous relationships felt mostly stagnant or unfaithful so I left,
And when my mom died
I think I kind of lost it.

Not in the way that I was psychotic.
More in a way that there was nothing to lose
Because at one point anything living dies.
Sometimes suddenly.
Living that will change a person.

Giving your body away...
I do not recommend.
Yet I have no regrets for giving a piece of myself to so many searching for something similar to me.
Whether it was love or acceptance or just for fun
Just to finally experience it, or to experience it again.

I felt special to be the one that some people chose to be vulnerable with.

It was loss and freedom all rolled into one.