Too Much

I can handle being homeless.
I can handle being broke.
I can handle people not understanding me
Or betraying me-
I can live with folks not speaking to me
Or not liking me.
It's all good!

I can handle that because people don't
Do a darn thang for me
Despite their "well-meaning" intentions.

I can handle a busted economy
Where degrees in Literature, General Studies, Arts
And World History don't make money in the "real world"
Even so called secure jobs will lose funding and higher pay
If the state is broke-

I can handle people talking about my life,
Looking down on me because I didn't make
The same "wonderful" decisions they made in life.
If you love your life, cool, I love it for you.

I can handle losing four babies in my womb,
My house, job, church, friends and families.

I can handle a lot and I thought what
You expected me to handle was too much!

With all the other horrible things in my life
Before this thing happened, "I can’t"
I told God.
"No! This is too much for me to handle!
Do something,
Keep talking to me-
I don't want to lose my mind
And not care about anyone or anything anymore ..."

I've been thru many cycles,
Depression, anger, rage, suicidal thoughts-
But you know what, I can handle it.
The Ones I loved are gone-but I got it.

I am stronger than I have ever been
And it’s not because of me, it’s because of You
And what You gave me.
My family is too precious to lose-
And everyday, they give me reasons to live.