The broken Doll

The Broken Doll

It was somewhat calmer weather than usual. Doing a night-shift at the hospital, I was tired but happy that I can spend much of the day with Felix. I met him in Ontario, not exactly met but found him dying on road; he was like soaked in a pool of his own blood since it was a rainy night.

Those days I worked under Dr.Sadao Lee, a famous neurosurgeon from Hong-Kong. My paramedic friend, Jayson was driving me back to home that day. Unfortunately it was a late rainy night, there was a street light but maybe the wires were blown off by the wind. However Jayce spotted something, we didn't realize until the headlights fell on it, he stopped the car with a jerk.

"Is he alive?" I asked.

"He doesn't seems to move. Stay here, let me go and check." Jayce got off the car.

"Is he alive?" I got off too.

"I asked you to stay inside. His pulse is running low. Help me get him into the car." He said.

We lay him on the back seat. He smelled blood, so strong that the I felt to throw up however I didn't and we drove back to the hospital. His skull was almost crushed and his spine was broken, he was losing pulse every minute. Fortunately Dr.Sadao Lee was there, he was about to leave after his third surgery for the day. Seeing those injuries, I assumed something like a car or truck ran over him. I felt terrible about how he was left there to die. Half of his ribs were broken, his right knee and arm was dislocated and most fractures were on his neck and head. We operated him for not less than two hours but the problem wasn't yet solved, he lost so much of blood, we didn't have AB+ve blood group in the blood bank. I realized I have the same blood group.

"Hey! I'm AB+ve" I said.

"But you don't know him, and who knows if he's going to survive or not, he's critical." Said Jayce.

"Do you remember why we became doctors?... to save lives. The degrees and skill is of no use if we don't save a human when we have a chance." I said, handing the files to Dr.Lee.

I lied on another bed besides him and they started the procedures.

He was saved but wasn't conscious, his health was still critical. Seeing him made me feel like he was a broken doll that has been fixed up using tapes and bandages all around. I didn't know who he was but that was what I wanted to do at the moment.

"I'm proud to have a friend like you!" Said Jayce handing me coffee. I was too exhausted to speak, so I sipped the coffee in and sat on a chair.

"What do you think of the bills, who's going to pay that?" Jayce worried.

"I don't know." I said.

Next morning I went to see if he was alive. He lied awake, looking around things, I was sure he felt the pains all over his body, the anaesthetics have stopped working and he was shaking inside since he couldn't move. I can think of his writhe.

"Dr.Susane, I hear you donated blood to one of the patients." It was the trustee of the hospital, Zoan Greyson.

I turned back, "Yes sir."

"Yes but the hospital is mine and the equipment has prices that must be paid." He said.

I looked at him angrily, trying not to let him know, "He can't even speak at the moment."

"I know, but someone has to pay. Maybe you." He looked crooked.

"You mean..." I guessed it was me.

"Yes exactly, you Dr.Susane. Dr.Jayson left the job this morning." I was shocked to hear this, Jayce left.

"OK, I'll take him home after a week and pay whatever it costs." I said and left.

After a week when he seemed a bit better, he was shifted to my apartment; I had to sell my car to pay the costs. It took thrice of my three month's salary. But I didn't regret about what I did. I didn't know his name nor he could tell me so I named him Felix, after all he was really lucky to be saved. It went difficult to take care of him with the job, sometimes Jayce would come to help but when he got another job he couldn't. Dr. Lee asked me to go back to Boston, handing me a letter for Dr.Camil Richard, so that I can do my job as a surgeon in Boston Central Hospital. I agreed since, it'd be better for Felix and I can stay with dad.

I phoned Dad that night and told him all that happened. He was not at all disappointed, "I'm proud of you Sue." He said. The words echoed pleasure in my heart. And then I moved into Boston with Felix.

At Boston Dad took care of Felix when I was away from home. He was like an infant and would rely for everything on me and Dad. Eventually we got used to a new member in our family. We lost mom and my brother John in a car accident, I don't know what really happened with them, I was twelve when they died since then I and dad had each other as a family.

Felix learned something new every day. Within a month he could actively show emotional signs, when he liked something he'd smile at it, he'd wink when he's happy, shrugged when he saw anything new and when he didn't like or upset with anything he'd look down. He managed calling my name "Sue" loud enough to be heard at the doors if he's in the bedroom. When I'm back from work, he'd know from the sound of slamming the entrance door and celebrate calling "Sue!". It made me feel good since I've missed this welcoming celebration after mom passed away, she used to all me 'Sue'. Dad was a Physiotherapist so he was perfect about his sleeping and waking time, he often didn't stay up to late and I'd be back to home at late nights or early morning so it wasn't often that we saw each other when I come back to home. Dad's retired now but he's back on is job in a way since Felix is here.

Felix and Dad created a beautiful bond, they'd watch movies for hours together, dad rolled him around our little lawn, sometimes go for shopping nearby. They'd dine together, dad ate his spoon and then fed Felix then he'd again eat his spoon till Felix has completed. He made him swallow his meds, clean him etc. They seemed to enjoy together a lot. It was nice seeing that dad wasn't lonely anymore without me. Sometimes I'd think how it'd be when someone from his family comes searching for him. I'd miss the way he looks at me shyly and calls me "Sue". His family must be missing him.

Once I had a day off on weekends, I tummy was upset and I couldn't go working that day. I and Felix watched a movie, it was quiet tragic one, he protagonist dies in the end. And he almost cried when it ended.

"Come on it's just a movie." I said.

He slightly shook his head but didn't stop crying. So I got up to hug him and he said "Sue" in my ears, it was warm enough to melt me down. He felt like an innocent child in my hand. He was so sensitive even with a movie. I knew I liked him a lot but couldn't be contained with the feeling because I didn't know if he was married or what if someday his wife comes over finding him. I still didn't know anything about him since he couldn't tell.

After a year, Felix could get the functionality over his fingers so he could control his motorized wheel chair, he could talk more words than before, he still called me Sue instead of Susane. He could now tell several things but didn't remember anything about him. One day Felix went along with me to the supermarket nearby a woman around my own age approached him,

"Edmud!" She exclaimed."Edmud you're alive? I'm sorry." She went desperate to hear from him.

"Excuse me, he's shy and he won't talk to you that way, please calm down." I said.

She dropped her things, "Edmud it's me Amelia, talk to me... please." She cried ignoring me.

I saw Felix feeling uneasy, as if he wanted to throw himself away from her. Some people tried to comfort him but he got irritated. I couldn't let that happen anymore, "Please get back to your work. He'd be fine." I said aloud. The lady who addressed herself as Amelia still was there, she almost shook Felix. He in order to throw himself away from her fell down from his wheelchair. It got into my nerves. "Stay away, I warn you! He is Felix." I went furious. Some boys helped me get Felix back on his chair and I rolled back to home.

I told dad about what had happened, he was silent for a while. He looked at Felix and then at me, she could be his wife, Felix Shrugged on hearing this. Now that was clear he didn't remember Amelia. Suddenly the doorbell interrupted. It was Amelia, she looked terrified.

"Please let me talk to him." She begged.

"I will only if you calm down and talk from a distance, I can't let you make him feel uneasy." I said and made her sit. Dad got her a glass of water.

"Are you his wife?" Dad asked. I was wishing a no from her.

"No" she said, I felt a bit relived but then she almost choked me, "We loved each other." She said and tears rolled down her fair cheek washing her makeup.

My heart shank, I didn't want to let him go, my hand took his as if it were a reflex. I could feel Felix tightening his grip. I looked at him and he shook at me, maybe that meant he didn't want me to worry or he didn't remember Amelia or he didn't want to go with her. His shook meant so much. Amelia was busy crying. "Do you know how this happened? He was found dying on road in Ontario, Susane saved him or he'd died." Dad said.

Amelia cried even more, "We went to Ontario on a business trip, he's Edmud Carter." I could remember the name on a donor's list. He used to send fruits and toys for ill kids at the hospital where I worked in Ontario. How shameful it is that Zoan couldn't hold on with his greed.

"We were driving back to our inn on the last day of the trip after watching a movie. He certainly sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence we shared between us that night.

I asked him to pull over because I wanted to talk. I told him that my feelings had changed and that it was time to move on.

We got off the car. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached out to his pocket and passed me a folded note.

At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He severed right into the him but I was saved being a few steps away from him. I was terrified by all that, I checked his nerves and assumed that he was dead. I couldn't think of anything else other than leaving him there. Remembering the note later, I unfolded it and read, "I'd die without your love." She ended her story.

"You left him dying there, when your feelings changed, why did you come back!" I screamed at her.

"I just wanted to say sorry." She said in a trembling voice.

"You can't be forgiven for this!" I snarled at her. Felix made his grip tighter, I felt as if he was inducing bit patience in me.

"Yeah I know, hope you have a happy life with him, he loves you. I owned that grip once upon a time." She wiped her tears and got up.

"I can't be forgiven but forgive me if you can, Edmud." She said and started walking out.

"Amelia!" I called her. "Edmud Carter was dead on the day you dumped him." I said as she turned. "He's Felix, and I'm never leaving him." She drooped her head and walked away.

My heart still throbbed. I rolled him to a nearby pool, where I used to play with John when I was a kid. The horizon was red, clouds went pink and the breeze was cool. I took his hand in mine "I love you!" I said in my thoughts and hugged him. "Sue" he said and a warm breath passed under my ear. He could hear the voice from my heart and that was a reply "I love you too!" in his language. I realized that my name meant love to him.