January challenge 471 words

“Hold it right there, dude! Hey, I’m talking to you. Stop parading around the street in your birthday suit.”

“Pardon me, officer?”

“You're Naked. Where are your clothes?”

“I don’t know what you mean, sir. I am wearing a costume.”

“Your bare, farmer-tanned skin ain't a costume. A disguise requires a special outfit or even a wig. You ain't nobody but yourself, in my eyes.”

“Oh, have we met prior to this?”

“I've never seen you before.”

“Well, no disrespect intended, but how can you believe that I am representing my true self when I have already explained that I am in costume?”

“Let’s continue this conversation after you get dressed or I'm going to have to charge you with indecent exposure.”

“Indecent? Impossible! I assure you that my costume was woven from the finest silk threads, so fine that they are almost ethereal. When I donned this costume, it was so soft and lightweight, it was almost as if I were wrapped in air. It is the most beautiful clothing in the world.”

“Look around! Don't you see people averting their eyes? Hey, no photos or I will confiscate your phone.”

“Officer, it’s fine. Let them take pictures to celebrate my very fine look. Let those others turn their jealous faces away so I do not see the green demon in their eyes. I paid a pretty penny for what you see here, today.”

“Alright, I gave you a chance to escape this situation with just a warning. Now, you'll need to come down to the station. Did you leave your clothes somewhere or did you walk out of your residence this way?”

“Of course, as soon as this costume was complete, I exited my home in order to show off.”

“Turn around. I’m putting the cuffs on you.”

“No, no, no, officer! Accessories would spoil the affect of this haute couture ensemble.”

“Haute... what!? You are not wearing anything at all! I'd better just take you to the hospital psych ward, instead of jail.”

“Wait, officer, please! I don’t need to go to a hospital, nor should I go to jail. I am an actor. I will be performing at the City Center Theater this evening. Our play is “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. I, of course, play the Emperor. I only came out in costume to generate interest and boost ticket sales.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

"You've got to be kidding me."

"No, sir!"

“Ugh, go home. This ticket is a warning. The next time you want to advertise, wear the Emperor’s old clothes.”

“Thank you, officer. Sorry for the disturbance. Be careful on the road.”

“Stop waving like an idiot or he’ll come back.”

“Are you guys going to let me back in now?”

“Sure. If you win the next round of strip poker, you'll get to decide the penalty.”