in the dark

Am I sad about her and me maybe I am but I can’t feel it I wanted her but its like why did I want her because she was sad cause she was everything I wanted she was the light in my darkness she was the bright spot but why did I make her like that why did I force my love onto her why did I feel like I was the one to make her happy and make her see that I loved her maybe because I really did think I was the one I was the mad that she left me in the dark to this hour this very minute I would feel so fucking sick it was better when I didn’t care about her it was better when I didnt even give a fuck she was just a associate she was just the person I didn’t care about she was just there and when she finds that person that gonna make her happy I’m gonna be happy for her but I’m also would be Sad I guess because I wanted too be that person no much I say I don’t care I always will care it hard for me to give up and I should have had the courage to just back off and throw up the white flag. This whole situation was something that should have never happened it should have just I don’t know just never should have happened I cared because I knew she was gibing up she was sad she didn’t care about her herself and I thought that if I showed I cared that I wanted her to be happy to smile and laugh and just be ok maybe that would show that she could do it too I cared too much way too much and maybe I should have never cared so much maybe I should have never trusted her to the point where she knew the Shawn that I never should have brought back out but I did because she was the light and bright spot that I looked forward too.