Midnight Always

I clasp my chest with my hand, hoping that the pain and emptiness subsides.
I don't cry silently, I cry aloud.
I cry to fill the void of loneliness inside me.
I cry to hear noises so I won't be so alone.

Tears keep running down my cheeks
My voice gets raspy as the night deepens.
Why am I alone?
Why am I lonely?
Why do I keep a front and make everyone believe I am okay, I am happy, I am cool, I am normal.

Why am I not normal?
What did I do so wrong to be so different, to be so lonely?
I want to be normal, like other people.
Normal, like other people. Happy, like other people.
Not to be consumed by loneliness and pain.
Not to constantly think of ways to ease the hurt.

I clasp my chest with my hand, I sniffed and I wiped away the tears from my hurting eyes.
I wash my face, I wipe my face. I erased the hint of loneliness from my face.
I get up and faked a smile. The sun peeked from my window and I faked a smile.
I'm fine, I'm okay.