Or Something Like That...(A Newsfeed Challenge) |
HAPPY DOES AS GRUMPY IS Happy was his name, but that was the one thing he wasn’t! He wasn’t happy before, he wasn’t happy now, and he wouldn’t be happy then. And Happy had good reason for being so unhappy. He was only 23, but he ran away from home to get away from his abusive parents when he was just 11. Living on the streets wasn’t very pleasant, and it didn’t take long for him to fall into a life of crime in order to survive. It started with just pick-pocketing wallets, but soon escalated to full-scale street robbery. Fortunately he never got caught, but he wasn’t a millionaire, either. Still, he couldn’t complain, and he didn’t have to pay taxes! Ironically, it was this seedy ‘job’ that would change his life forever in ways he never could have imagined! One day he was going about his daily business of robbing people on the dirty streets of Disney Land, USA, when he pulled a rather much-too-cheerful young man into an alley. “Greetings, my good man,” stated his intended victim who appeared to be about the same age and short stature as he was. “How are you on this beautiful, blessed day?” Befuddled by the man’s odd reaction to being forcibly relieved of his currency and other valuable personal property, Happy inquired: “Dude, I’m robbing you. You’re supposed to be frightened. Why aren’t you frightened?” “Well, for one thing, I have a feeling that you’re not going to do me any physical harm. Call it a ‘sixth sense’, if you will. And second, my personal possessions can be replaced.” The man then proceeded to offer his hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. My name is Grumpy.” Grumpy? Who did this guy think he was kidding? He was about as grumpy as Happy was happy! “Is that your real name?” Happy asked. “That’s what my real mother named me,” the man answered, still holding out his hand. “And that’s what I’ve always been called.” “Your real mother?” “Yes.” Realizing his robber wasn’t going to shake his hand, Grumpy reluctantly put it back by his side. “I was adopted at a very young age, along with my five brothers.” “Huh.” “Anyway,” the very nice man continued, “sadly, our adoptive mother couldn’t adopt all my brothers because of her financial situation at that time, so one of our brothers was adopted by another family.” “Huh.” “Our adoptive mother was very heartbroken,” the kind victim continued to continue, “but she vowed that if she ever found out what happened to him, she would gladly re-adopt him and take him into our humble home as one of her own.” “She sounds like a very nice person,” said Happy as he began having second thoughts about robbing this strange fellow. “Oh, she is, she is,” said Grumpy. “And she’s really hot, too.” “Cool.” Happy finished taking all of Grumpy’s valuable possessions, including his wallet. “Okay, I think we’re done here,” he said. “Is there anything else I need to steal from you?” “No, no. I think you got it all,” said Grumpy. “It was nice meeting you, Mister…” “Sorry, Grumpy. Can’t tell you my name. I like you, but that doesn’t mean I trust you not to go to the cops.” “I totally understand,” Grumpy said. “Have a wonderful life.” “You too,” Happy replied as he turned and walked away. “And good luck finding that brother of yours.” Later that night, as Happy was going through his loot in a seedy motel room, he opened Grumpy’s wallet and found several pictures of the nice man’s brothers. On the back of each one was a name: Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, Dopey, and Doc. There was also a picture of the mother, and she was indeed one hot mama. She looked very familiar, but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember where he’d seen her. On a poster perhaps? Or in a movie? It was at that precise instant when Happy’s life changed in ways he never could have imagined! Instead of risking his precious freedom by immersing himself in criminal activity, he could adopt a bunch of children, thereby not only making their lives better, but his own as well! Or he could graduate to robbing banks, which was much more lucrative than being a lowly street robber! Either way, his life was definitely going to change for the better! And he owed it all to that nice little fellow he met that morning on the dirty streets of Disney Land, USA! |