Climate Change: A Big Gas Problem

Climate Change: A Big Gas Problem
Before I get into this mix of bad puns, and poor comedic timing I’m calling an essay, let me set the stage for you and begin here: 13,800,000,000 B.C. Suddenly there’s a bang (it was pretty big), and bam, (after a little bit) Earth and shit. After the Earth and shit came to be, the Big Bang also brought about all of the things we know and love today, like Game of Thrones, crippling nicotine addictions (It’s a fruit-flavored nicotine addiction though, so it’s all good), and of course, climate change.
I suppose this is the point in the essay when I’m supposed to define climate change, and say what causes it, like greenhouse gasses as a product of humans, blah blah blah, but that’s boring as hell and everyone’s heard it already, so fuck it. Instead, I’ll give a brief history of climate change and the movements associated with it, provide stats, and talk a tiny bit about climate change deniers.
Climate change based movements and protests have been around since roughly the 90s, and in recent years have gained further traction, as more and more scientific evidence supports the theory (although it’s probably inappropriate to even call it a theory at this point) each year. The increased awareness surrounding this movement has given birth to organized school walkouts, organized protests, and even changes in legislation, which are all pretty tight. These major movements/steps towards reversing and raising awareness for climate change are for good reason. Climate change is one of, if not the, most important issue we’re facing in contemporary times. In a report by the United Nations earlier this year, it was revealed that “From 1880 to 2012, the average global temperature increased by 0.85°C”. This equates to a change of 1.53 degrees Fahrenheit, which, though seemingly innocuous, causes things like glacial melt, rising sea levels, increased number of fires, and more intense heatwaves, just to name a few... or like 4.
All this being said, climate change is now on an accelerated course, as “more than 1,300 scientists from the United States and other countries, forecasts a temperature rise of 2.5 to 10 degrees Fahrenheit over the next century”. I’m sure I don’t need to spell it out for you guys, but in an effort to reach the two-page requirement, and beat the proverbial dead horse, I will. T H I S I S N O T G O O D. An increase in temperature that substantial will have long-lasting effects on future generations.
Even with all this evidence in support of climate change and the plethora of causal effects that are common knowledge at this point, there are still climate change deniers. I won’t go further into this, as seeing the reality of climate change requires no more than a room temperature IQ, but it’s worth briefly mentioning this group. Although, thus far, I’ve only acknowledged climate change deniers, there are also those that simply don’t care, which is totally cool, I couldn’t care less about what you do, but people often assume this belief because they think, “Who cares about future generations, it won’t affect me”. They’re wrong, we will also be fucked. I suppose it’s all relative though, so we’ll be minimally fucked, as opposed to maximally fucked like our descendants, which is pretty cool I guess. But even then, with advances in technology and medicine being so rapid, we could be 10,000 years old by the time we die, in which case, get self-fucked.
Overall, climate change is a societal problem that must soon be addressed if we want a better future for ourselves, and moreover our future kin. Although climate change has become more common knowledge, and there are constant movements in support of going green and such, we must do more, and take the issue more seriously as a whole if we wish to achieve anything significant. On that note, I’ll leave you with this: quit using plastic straws, douche.