Christmas Eve With Cats

Christmas Eve With Cats
By Itchybarn

It was a dark and snowy - oh, who am I kidding? These crazy humans keep thinking that it will snow on Christmas Eve, but it never happens! Anyway, my name is James and I am your very professional cat narrator. I live in a house with six other cats. This is the story about our first Christmas.

* * *

“Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,” read The Dad to The Girl.
“Heh heh, yes, um… that might be my fault,” I admitted. “James! You know that is a rule. You’re not allowed to eat the mice,” said Gracie.
She was always the perfect one. Never breaking the rules, always loving on the humans. I, on the other hand, love to lay in the sink and break expensive toys. I think my way is more fun.
“…And to all a good night!”, said The Dad. “Okay, kids. Time for bed!” Those kids nearly broke more things than I do on a monthly basis scrambling to get under their covers.
“Yeah, I think I’m going to go to kitty bed, too,” I said with a yawn.
I went downstairs and laid in bed next to the other kittens. “Do you really think Sonta is real?” asked Harris.
“First of all, Harris, it’s Santa. Second, I really hope so!” said Hamish excitedly.
You could barely tell Hamish and Harris apart since they were perfectly brother and sister. They were both black with big, round eyes. The only differences were the two white lines on Hamish’s belly and the the size of their adorable little faces.
“Time for the checklist everyone!” said Daney. She was a smaller version of Gracie, except really shy and very smart.
“Hidden so that we can spy on the tiny flying red and green humans?”
“Check!” I said.
“Enough catnip and grass to make each of us throw up twice in two different places?”
“Check!”
“Positioned in a spot, where, if bored, we can destroy at least 24 things?”
“Check!”
“Okay then, that should be everything!” said Graybee, the last of the five kittens. He was basically a combination of Daney and Hamish. He was the perfect kitten except for his piercing black eyes, which were a little daunting.
“All that is left is for us to go to sleep and wait for the scream that will come when Santa finds that dead mouse!” I said.
“So that is what you did with it!” said Gracie, who just so happened to be walking by during all of our mischievous planning. “I am going to throw away that disgusting thing in the Black Bag of Doom!”
“Gracie, if you throw away our dead mouse, then we need a Plan B!” said Harris “We’d have to stay awake!”
“No! You can’t do that!” said The Coco, our most mysterious cat. She was wise, but only came out when there was loud music or a bad decision was about to be made. “He won’t come if you stay awake!”
“Fine, oh, wise one,” Graybee said. “We will just go to sleep.” This was supposed to be a lie to fool The Coco, but then we heard the engine-like purr of Gracie as she got carried away by the humans. We were then reassured that she had not stopped our Plan A.

* * * * * *

After what seemed like days and we were nodding off to sleep, we heard a slam as the entire house shook.
“AHH!” yelled someone in the distance. The voice was gruff and raspy, but it sounded friendly.
“Who was that?” Daney asked groggily.
“I don’t know, but I think that they stumbled upon our little gift,” I snickered.
We cautiously moved forward, slowly advancing to the point where we would be able to see the tall and glowing tree. There was a slightly overweight man kneeling in front, putting multi-colored boxes of different varieties under the tree.
“He must be Sonta!” Harris said excitedly.
“For the eighteenth time today, it is SANTA, not Sonta! And yes, I completely agree with you!” said Hamish. “Anyway, this is what we have been waiting for. Time for plan A! James, I need you to… James? Where are you?”
I, meanwhile, had run off to go tackle Santa, though, it did not go as well as I had planned. I tripped halfway and was going at such a catchmouse speed that I flew up into the air and landed on Santa’s head. It was a very interesting way to meet him.
“Well, hello!” exclaimed the surprised Santa.
“Hi, Santa! We planted that mouse so that we could wake up and meet you!” said Daney excitedly.
He laughed, “I know that.”
“You can understand us when we speak?” asked Graybee.
“Yes, and since I can, I think you could help me with something,” Santa said
“Oooooooh, what?” I asked.
“If you want, you could help me deliver some presents tonight,” he said.
“YES!” all the cats said in unison.
And so we went, flying from house to house in a big white sleigh. The cats kept watch for nosy children, though I mostly took naps, while Santa delivered the gifts.
Once the world was given its presents, we went back to our loving, warm home, and fell asleep, waiting for our Christmas to begin with the humans. As I closed my eyes, I noticed a flicker of snow falling outside and laughed to myself. Those crazy humans might be onto something after all.