Shut myself out

Shut myself out

I am tired of thoughts
They keep beating and thumping
I can never stop them
I stay awake long nights trying to sleep
I do not understand what is happening
But deep inside I know it all too well
Am I breaking
Or am I simply rebuilding myself
Times I find someone else in my mind
But who is it that keeps talking and talking
I want to shut them out
But to do that I must shut myself out
But my mind will never close
It's like an open door
But this door is rusty and I cannot hold it up no longer
Must I shut myself out or in
Because I'm lost in my head
Have I gone mental and insane
There are times I speak nonsense
And I am scared of time
For time will never stop
Not in war nor in peace
I wonder when everything will end
But perhaps I'm scared of it all ending
Because I cannot shut my eyes for a second
I lie awake watching my alarm
Time is speeding faster and faster
And soon I will also leave like time is slowly
Can I keep my sanity until then?