Hope, where did it go.

Sometimes it feels like i'm in a dark room, alone, cold, afraid it feels like i have all this weight on my chest, and i cannot breath. It's like someone chained weights on my chest and pushed me into a pool of water and i cannot break free. Sometimes i wish for people to see me naked, too see all of me, too know me. But i can't let them in, i cant trust them it's not my fault, you did this to me, you made me feel like i have no more control of my life, you took away all of my happiness, you made me fear for the next day. You made my past so dark that i don't want to remember it any more but i cannot forget what you did. You took away my childhood and i cannot take it back. So how can i let people in with a past so dark and so extreme, so lost there's no hope, hope left me along time ago along with my sanity my happiness.