You

You

you picked the suicidal, doubting their whole existence, bite their fingers, bleed out the noise

One.

lies upon lies. I made excuses on excuses for you, wishing for a better smile, a prietter quiet mind for

You

I had to be broken, I had to spill and say silent, doubting my mind because thats what would make you stay.

9 Panic attacks in 48 hours. only caring whether you would get in trouble for “hurting me” as sobbing from my seat, I checked up on

You

how dare You. stuttering when I repeat your words, freezing when I see a head hair that for an instant is you, shaking whenever I see your laughing, lying face.

how I wish I could scream, pointing my fingers at your facade of fake love and manipulation. show you the pain I felt, the brokenness I am.


having to laugh about my abuse
blocking out memories and writing page after page of letters for

You