The Apostle

The Apostle
( Kudos to Monty Python)


The door of the office, opened with a creak, as the distinguished gentleman entered.

On entering the man could see that the office was in a state of disarray. Bookshelves crammed with books, papers and letters (some opened, and some still sealed) covered the office walls from floor to celling.

The gentleman who stood before the large mahogany desk was dressed in a brown flak jacket with many pockets, he wore brown khaki pants, cuffed at the bottom. His hair was balding and he had a large black moustache, perched on his nose was a pair of wire rimmed glasses.

The man sitting behind the desk seemed preoccupied, and took his time as he filled out papers in a nondescript manner hardly noticing the man at all.

" Hello sir, are you the gentleman who I need to speak to" said the man, as he stood before the large desk "I have just finished a story and I am looking to have it copyrighted, can you help me?"

"Name" said the gentleman behind the desk.

"Kipling" replied the man.
"First name Rudyard" he continued.

"No you're" came the reply. "What's your name, really"

"It's Rudyard Kipling sir, why don't you believe me?" Kipling answered with a worrisome sound to his voice.


Holding back a laugh at hearing such an unusual name the man coincided "who would have a name like that, and admit it."

"But that is my name, sir" the gentleman answered somberly.

" Prove it." Said the gentleman.

After patting down all the pockets of his flak jacket, and after looking through, and feeling around in all his pants pockets he came to the sad conclusion that he had left his wallet home and so had no valid form of identification.

Trying another tactic, he continued to try to convince the man, by telling him the titles of some of his other books.
"Sir have you never heard of 'Captains Courageous," It was on the best seller list for a number of years.

"Sorry, never heard of it" came the reply.

"Well then I'm sure you have heard of the Just So Stories." Kipling said with a broad smile and a proud continence on his face.

"Just So; what?" came the reply.

Just, 'Just So stories' like how the 'How the Whale Got His Throat' or 'How the Leopard Got His Spots.'

The man behind the desk, starred with his mouth open for a full minute, scratched his head and replied in the negative.
Never heard of it, and for the life of me, I can't see who in their right minds would read a story so convoluted as those you mentioned . "How the monkey got it's tail" of all things.

After a long silent interlude, Kipling continued with the reason for his visit. "Well I have just finished my new book, and its ready to go into publication, so I have come to purchase it's copywrite."

"Ok what's the title of your new endeavor?"

"Kim, sir."

"Ok, it's called Kim sir."

"No sir, just "Kim."

Ok so it's called "Just Kim, then?"

No sir "Only Kim"!

"So it's a trilogy then?" "Kim Sir, Just Kim, and only Kim, now who's Kim?

Mr. Kipling was starting to become agitated.

"Sir please, try to understand, the book is called 'Kim,' no other title just 'Kim'."

That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, who would read a book with such a title, good day sir." After speaking, the man went back to his work and Kipling left the office, slamming the door on his departure.

Soon there was a knock at the office door, and a man dressed in a gray sack cloth and sandals entered.

The new man looked to be quite old, with wrinkled features, and a long gray beard.

"How can I help you?

"Well I have written some Epistles, and I would like for you to check them out for me." said the old man as he lifted up the letters for their perusal.

"What in the world is an epistle then?" said the man.

"It's a type of a letter. A letter to the Ephesians, another one to the Colossians if you will."

"what's your name then sir." said the man behind the desk.

"Paul" sir came the reply.

"Paul who?" the man answered back.

"Just Paul!" came the reply.

"I was once called Saul, but God changed it to Paul." Paul said with pride in his voice.

Boy I get them all in here, the man behind the desk said to himself.

" Why did he change your name, what was the matter with Saul!"

" I really can't answer that. God has His ways is all I can say." Paul answered.

"I just had a guy in here named Rudyard, now that is a name that need's changing, if I there ever was one!"

"Hey Paul you wouldn't happen to know a Kim would you?"