I can’t express The fucking loathe The disgust The pure hatred I have for myself For my body And my mind. The whole thing is like a science experiment gone wrong. Constantly malfunctioning. I’m made for nothing But fucking up good things. I can’t imagine how happy my parents were before they had me. They probably didn’t know real pain until they had me. I am hell wrapped in flesh. I wake up everyday afraid of how I might fuck up again. I go to sleep every night praying that God will take me in my sleep. I am the definition of a disgusting human being. I’m am unproportional Inconsiderate Selfish Ugly Fat Stupid Whore. And I deserve nothing less than death itself. I am past the point of no return. I don’t even want help at this point. I just want to simply Disappear. I know my family and my boyfriend will be sad. But at the same time. I will have saved them from a life of disappointments. I don’t go out of my way to hurt people But the evil bitch in me makes it happen Even if I really need that person. I am alone in a crowd of people No one will ever understand The way it feels. To be this broken. By your own self. With no one to blame but you I want to escape my shell of a body And fly into the sky Never to return again. |