The Wolf in the Dark

The Wolf in the Dark

For the third time that week, I wake up to screaming.

"Hey. Shh. It's okay. It's okay now." I hold Red in my arms and she slowly calms down, bringing her hysterical screech down to a hoarse moan. In the dark, I can still sense her trembling. "Same dream as always?"

"Yes." Her voice is hoarse and frightened. "It's like I'm there again, seeing the wolf dressed up in my grandmama's clothes, grinning at me with that awful smile. I can't believe I didn't run."

"Hey. It's not your fault." I squeeze her shoulders. "You didn't know. You were just a kid."

"I should have known." There it is again, that bitterness in her voice. I don't like it. I don't like seeing my Red like this. I like her in the daytime, with her infectious laugh and perfect smile that I fell in love with and red, red hair. I like her happy and carefree, not sobbing and broken by the shadow of her past, a cursed image that won't go away.

"You had no idea. He tricked you, Red. He made you think he was your grandmama. It's not your fault for falling for it."

"How could I think a wolf was my grandmama? I mean, a wolf? They don't even look remotely like humans. How stupid could I possibly be?"

I feel her tense up again next to me and massage her shoulders lightly. "He was dressed up in her clothes and spoke with her voice. Anyone would have bought it. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is."

"No, Red." I flip her over so she's facing me, troubled gray-green eyes staring into my steady brown ones. "It's not your fault. You need to stop thinking this." Gently I stroke her cheek and she seems to melt into my touch. I dare to hope the episode is over. "I love you. It's okay. You're okay now. You need to forget it."

As soon as the words escape my mouth I want to take them back, snatch their wispy ghosts out of the air and stuff them back in. But I can't. I watch her face contract, tears springing up to moisten her cheeks, and then I watch it shut down again, blocking me out just as surely as if she had thrown up a wall between the two of us. "You don't understand," she mutters, rolling over. Her voice is muffled as she says, "I can never forget it."

"Look, Red, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to --"

She draws the blanket over her head, a clear signal. I sigh and roll onto my back. Above, the cracked white ceiling mocks me, indifferent to my sorrow. Outside the window, a wolf howls. My nose burns as my own tears spring up and trickle silently down my face.I bite my lip and wonder, will we ever be normal again? Will things ever be okay?