The Frustrations of Essays

         The teacher walked around the class with her usual hardened face. It bore only the expression of annoyance, most likely because of the previous assignment, on which almost everyone in the seventh grade received an A on. This was not your usual “A,” of which means
“Amazing,” but was the type of A that was commonly followed by a H and together meant, “Absolutely Horrible.”

         Oliver could’ve sworn the teacher’s pale gray eyes met his as she made her way towards the back of the room, where he sat. “Since all of you could not complete the previous assignment as I have instructed, I decided to assign an essay. This essay will cover the topic of the Stonehenge. I have talked with your Social Studies teachers and they all agreed that this will be a great introduction to the new unit. You all will write and describe why and how this historic monument was built.”

         “But Mrs. S…, no one knows the answer to that question.” A dark brown haired boy in the front said this with a confused look on his face. The teacher swirled around so quickly that papers nearby fluttered to the ground. First, she directed her icy stare at a brown haired girl sitting by herself in the corner. “Ms. Peters, if you’d be so kind as to pick up those papers for me? Thanks, I’ll make sure you get an E for that.” She then turned to the boy who interrupted her.

         “I am sorry that I did not clarify enough. You are to write an essay, according to the requirements I am about to give you, on how and why the Stonehenge was built. I do not care if you or anyone else doesn’t know the answer to your prompt. If you all had passed the previous assignment, this...predicament would not have occurred.” The teacher then faced the whole class. “Any questions before I continue?”

         The class shook their heads slowly, frightened looks on their faces, even more so on the brown haired boy, who looked as if he’d seen a ghost. Oliver glanced at the clock. Only 7 more minutes.

         “Now. Now that I have all of your attentions, let us get down to the requirements. Firstly, the essays are supposed to be typed up on your little Interwebby device things. They are to be single spaced, margins of point five inches, and will have no less than ten 10 - 15 sentence paragraphs. I do not care how you write the essay as long as it answers both the why and how questions of the building of the Stonehenge and meets all of the requirements. The essays will be turned in next Wednesday. You kids must be grateful that the teachers have persuaded me to push the deadline that late. This has raised my expectations of the quality of your essays, as you now have well over a week to complete this assignment. Also, before you stampede through the hallways like wild animals, I need to tell you that this will be the only homework assignment until next Wednesday, so I don’t want to be handed anymore papers before then.

         “And, make sure that you take all of the belongings you want to keep with you. Anything left behind will meet the sweet flames of my fireplace.”