John's Last Post

         Young men sometimes get too foolish for their own good, the old axiom proves wrong, it isn’t always the good that die young, most of the time it is the stupid! I know that you have heard this before, what with the Darwin awards and similar smarmy, arrogant programs yet as much as they tell you detail of the incidents they nary tell you of the cause. What makes a stupid person do the things they do? I am not going to proffer answers to this paradox but I will try my damnedest to give you a somewhat fleeting glimpse behind the curtain as I delve into the mind of the unbelievably stupid.

         My neighbour Mark had never really had any experience with homemade explosives before that day, fortunately for the rest of us though he won’t in the future either. After filling a metal jerrycan with petrol, Styrofoam and other stupid things he placed a rag in the top and lit it. Unfortunately for our amateur pyro-technician, while attempting to run away he slipped and fell (on a puddle of petrol no less) backwards, directly on the bomb. He didn’t even hit the ground, the tin of the can sliced straight through his stomach sending intestinal-viscera spraying everywhere.

         I was about 8 or 9 then, watching from the front yard of our house on the other side of the road. This brutal accident amazed me. As I went to cross the road to get a closer look I slipped and fell flat on my face; looking down to see what I had slipped on I saw that it looked like a piece of cooked flesh from Mark’s stomach, I picked it up and felt a strange new sensation surge through my body, looking back I know now it was not revulsion or horror but more akin to an almost orgasmic rush of empowerment, an excitement that from that day forth I have tried in vain to replicate. In that moment I was a god. I pocketed that piece of Mark that day and later that night I took my small pocketknife and carefully cut off a piece that didn’t have any metal fragments and proceeded to taste it. My friends the only way that I can explain the taste of that most exotic of meats is orgasmic, if you ever get a chance I more than suggest you give it a try.

         I find myself recalling that day almost fifteen years on with a sense of nostalgia. No longer do I feel ashamed of my morbid fascinations and desires. Nor do I wish any of you dear readers to judge me in my actions, after all I would afford you the same luxury. In my teenage years I frequently jerked off to autopsy photos, I became engrossed in the simulated snuff films of the horror underground and realized my true purpose. Through careful planning I slowly came to realize that I could pull off one of the first major snuff movies. I also realized that my violence fetish didn’t transcend to animals, I am and always have only ever been turned on by the fatal suffering of people.

         Now is the perfect time to anonymously mass distribute such a film if you care to think about it. The last twenty years has seen a the rise of the internet age, to quote old Roy Anything you want you got it! Now I know what you are all thinking, the internet is already full of snuff videos, wouldn’t you just be replicating what is already up there? While there are real death shock videos on the internet they don’t classify as actual snuff as the creators don’t receive payment for them. The United States government have done extensive research into the existence of “Snuff” films and have concluded that there is no videos that currently classify as Snuff in the traditional sense.

         In a sense they are wrong, As a teenager I bought a few bootlegged VHS tapes from a local black market dealer such as a few of the Lake Ng Tapes as well as the rather elusive Armin Meiwes Cannibal Tape (as I said not actually considered snuff as the artists didn’t receive money from it). If the dealer wasn’t soon after arrested on a string of child pornography and paedophilia charges I would have gotten my hands on a lot more. There exists an underground movement across the globe to get tapes like these to sick deviants such as myself and I am guessing you as well dear reader, my advice to you is to always keep your ears open because you never know where connections may lie.

         I have already purchased a decent camera and a fair amount of other gear to get myself started. The only thing I need now are actors(or should I say victims?), I know what I am looking for can you guess? Who comes to mind when you picture the star of a snuff movie? That’s right, an attractive, fit, Caucasian woman between the ages of 16 and 25 who is looking for their first big acting break.
Oh how I have longed for another succulent taste of that divine long pig flesh ever since that day.

         Years ago I read of a like mind that fulfilled his desires in the streets and graveyards of Paris. He worked as a mortician’s assistant and often ate pieces of the cadaver or snuck them out of the morgue to enjoy at home. He was also a necrophiliac and frequented the graveyard on a regular basis to fulfil his sexual needs. That’s neither here or there though after the cops caught and imprisoned him, he wrote a few documents in English that told of what he considered the tastiest cuts. Ever since I first read those pages I have been dying to taste the steaks of the calf and quadriceps.

(His name is Nico Claux, the Parisian Vampire, if I have piqued your interest. For all of his crimes he only served a seven-year sentence! Nico is also a talented painter; reproductions of his serial killer artworks and other pieces of murder-bilia are available for purchase at www.serialkillercalendar.com)

         I have a few that I am keeping my eye on lately, although if anyone reading this wants to become my first victim, please get in contact with me and we can arrange a meeting. I can try to accommodate any request that you have before the preparation commences.

John Hoggett