I D K

I fight for my sister, not for myself
I fight for her being safe, not for mine
I fight for her life, not mine

I gulp down
I have failed
I am down, have been for a while now
Not sure how down in the deep I am
I want to get out
I want to set her free

Help
the only word I could see on the screen
makes me wonder if its a sign
or just my subconscious trying to manipulate how I see
I stare at that world, and then it's all that I can see
the screen blurs all the words jumble up except that one
I say it in mind
help
help
help
they say you can only help yourself
no one else but you
how am I supposed to help myself
how
how
help I repeat
help me
help me, please
no one says anything back
no one
but my silence
my defeating silence
saying Quit