the silence that follows

i begin writing our eulogy
begin picking out headstones once you've been gone for a little too long

your silence get filled with feelings of abandonment, where i bite my fingernails down until they begin to bleed.
silence can be filled with so many words, and so many different languages.

i take the ashes of what we once had and sprinkle them into the ocean, saying goodbye for the 7th time in 3 days

only for you to come around

you were never really gone to begin with