I Remember The First Time

I remember the first time...
It has been engraved in the spaces of my mind for eternity.
I feel the things I felt that day...

I remember. The first time I wrote,
I was scared, and felt that is wasn't good enough,

I remember. How many times I read the same piece trying to makes sense of it.

I remember. The voices in my head that read it in different tones and paces to see if it fit

I remember. How scared I was while creating that new site
I remember I was happy, but not so much,
It terrified me.

I remember. I wanted to forget about it.

BUT I remembered. The joy, the peace that I felt while I wrote.
I remember. The satisfaction of seeing the words on paper and how my mind raced in joy trying to fill the quickly ending lines of my first book

I remember. The pride I felt when I was done.

I remember. Feeling blood drain out of my body; when I clicked on 'post'
I remember. I couldn't sleep well that night.
My breath was hot and dry,

Not even a lovely cup of warm cocoa could clam me down.

I remember, the next day,
How my hands shook as I opened my laptop
I remember, seeing notifications,

I remember the fear and the joy as I read through the first review.

I remember. Life pouring back into me, because I'd found my place.