Rupert verses Cupid

“Good afternoon, this is Karl Sarkozy live from the Greek Underworld, where Cerberus has granted us an exclusive interview with Cupid…Cupid, it is a real privilege to finally meet you.”

“Ditto Karl,”

“It’s been alleged that your arrows are indirectly responsible for the Ashley Kendrick’s homicide.”

“That’s a trough load of pigs’ vomit."

“Forensics identified yours as the arrows that compelled Rupert to stalk her.”

“I never shot them. Ixion framed me.”

“Ixion?”

“A real nasty peice of work that killed his father by pushing him onto burning hot coals and rooted Zeus’s wife, after she took pity on him. He’s always been envious of my marraige with Psyche and jealous of my fame. With me out the way he might stand to get both. ”

“I was led to believe Zeus had Ixion chained to a fiery wheel in Hades.”

“Eurynomos unofficially assigns him to help with various tortures.”

“Eurynomos?”

“He’s Hades’ “Daemon of rotting corpses”.”

“I see…now, in light of the Prosecutor’s hostile cross-examination, do you still stand by your alibi?”

“It’s the truth Karl. I was home caring for my wife throughout the period of Rupert’s stalking, and the police report for the stolen arrows also proves my innocence.”

“What about the stylist that testified to have cut Psyche’s hair during that period and swears to have not noticed any signs that she was sick?”

“An expert witness has already proven her to be psychosomatic. To her, the suffering is very real. She is also schizophrenic and the personality she reverted to at the time did not subscribe to illusions of illness, so to speak. Both conditions have been associated with the trauma she experienced with the Proserpina’s Box Incident…sort of a long story.”

“You don’t deny initially kindling Ashley and Rupert’s romance.”

“No, they seemed a perfect match at the time, from what I could tell, and would still be together if Ixion hadn’t cast those seeds.”

“Seeds?”

“Seeds, from the pods of Sceptic bushes in the depths of Hades. Their poison motivates disharmony, distrust and paranoia; but only on one of the lovers. Such a combination almost guarantees the romance’s failure.”

“You speak as if from experience, Cupid. Like this has happened before.”

“Occupational hazard.”

“But it’s the first time someone’s held you accountable for a murder.”

“You spend two thousand plus years helping to build families, and this is the reward you get. Do you have any idea what will happen if the court convicts me?”

“You’ll spend the remainder of your days here.”

“Without me, couples cease to fall in love. Without love, the world will be full of hate. Babies will cease to be born and the human race will perish.”

“Hmmm, much food for thought. Well I can see from Cerberus’s snarls that our time is up. Good luck with the case.”

“Thanks Karl.”

“This has been Karl Sarkozy for the "Jungle Jim Journal" signing off.”