This Year’s Report

Chief Drake’s Log.

A record of the flock’s campaign to obtain cracked corn.

Location: Teal Creek


Day 1.

Upon reviewing our resources, we decided to send matepair 17, Speck and Dawn, to occupy the existing nest beside the broken wall. The gullible humans know about that nest already; they will be watching for occupation. Speck’s larger size makes him more visible, and their puny vision will spot him. While tending the nest, he will patrols the creek when they are nearby. This ensues the arrival of the grain.


Day 5.

The humans are offering corn and have been for two days. To speed response time, Dawn made additional noise while guarding the eggs. While they needed more time to notice us this year, their training has held. They deliver adequate food supplies twice a day, and anticipate the arrival of our young. Note: Arrive more noisily next year; subletly is lost on them.


Day 14.

The humans watch closely for the arrival of offspring. They are decent to we adults, but multiply the quantity of food when they first see ducklings. Matepair 17 reports steady progress and suggests deploying additional guardian drakes to remind them of the other nests. Last year’s records indicate this was a successful tactic. Will deploy seven more drakes to attract attention.


Day 26.

First deployment of ducklings occurred yesterday. The broken stone wall provides good access and the youngsters have been taught how to ascend the slope. We emphasized to them the need to move slowly and act clumsily. Operative Sport has been sent to assess their progress. A favorable report may lead to a recruitment offer; we will need to replace agents next year.

Day 31.

Full engagement of all humans has taken place. Their offspring have been spotted carrying our victuals during the matepair’s absences. Sightings of humans are increased, though they do not bring corn every time. The female has resumed making circuits of the land outside their nest, dropping corn until she reaches the”bowl” and deposits the remainder there. Some of our trainees act anxious and keep distance between themselves and her, while our interns perch on the remaining wall to flap and make noise.


Day 57.

Final ducklings deployed. Elder ones now visibly hunt bugs under supervision of their mothers. Our records indicate the humans find this appealing, or “cute.” Our analysts remain alert for any new use of the word “cute,” as this gives us behavioral clues. The study of manipulating humans always needs more data.


Day 81.

Senior agent Sentry reports his special forces are practicing master manipulation tactics. These advanced techniques are riskier for us, but these humans are too well-trained to harm us. They include walking close to their nest to squawk and occasionally sitting or walking near one that is stationary. This generally elicits “aww” sounds and what our research reports as a “smile.” These responses appear to have positive results. Note: Tell research to investigate this; it may be related to “cute.”


Day 106.

Humans are fully established in their serving behaviors and will continue to feed us until migration occurs. Agents Sport and Sentry will continue monitoring the situation until the flock departs. I am finishing my report to headquarters and shall deliver it once I arrive. After debriefing, I am scheduled to provide my annual seminar on body language as a tool for human enslavement. I shall choose a successor and retire to privately mentor other promising drakes. These humans have been good for my career advancement. I may even miss them...a bit.





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